Letting go...

When I was young and I heard the saying - If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was - I thought it was a cliche. There was *my* family, *my*friends...yet one day I left it all behind...wiped the slate clean with 2 bags and not too much money in hand, I made a trip across the Atlantic to a new land where I had to begin again...was I scared, of course I was. I had left the two things that mattered to me the most - Ma and Pa behind and wasn't even sure it was the right decision. Yet, as time went by I settled into a life and routine in this new world, met new interesting people, charted new plans for myself and went about achieving it in a very focused way...Life as I knew it before didn't exist anymore...but the new life was interesting and brought with it new excitement. Most importantly, I had that tangible thread with my parents, they had released their fears and "let go"...they believed in me and the love they had for me...and had faith...setting free didn't really release, it only brought me closer to them...the truth about letting go slowly sunk in...

Yet, when I finally became a mother -- the fierce gnaw of possessiveness really took strong roots...here was something I had created...seeing promising similarities and discounting the fact that K2 was his own individual...I dictated what he ate, when he napped, when he played and of course with so much control came constant paranoia around his weight, his development, his socialization, his health...omigod! stop it already...

This weekend I started looking at pre-schools for my son...the panic is intense. I know that I will have to trust my son's well being with people beyond my "trusted circle"...I don't know if I am ready for it yet...but a wise person once said - There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind...but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new life"

Here's to my son taking his first independant steps towards pre-school, independence and potty training....and here's to a product manager mom learning to let go of her babies -- both real and products...

Life is like a bunch of Habanero Peppers...

The past two weeks have been at the same time hectic and slow...with a new project winding up and with the sense of anticipation that life as I knew it before May, will exist again...unsure of my reaction to it...we will see.

K1 took his parents to Las Vegas last week and I was the sole trooper on the home front, managing with K2...we had a blast. Farmer's market has been a firm fixture in my life the past two weeks - throwing my way a varied bounty of fresh fruits and vegetables - from juicy peaches to crisp Asian Pears to pretty blueberries --- and not to forget the perky tomatoes, plump opo squashes, complex sinquas, fresh chinese brocollis, the mystery lemon cucumbers and the oh-so-spicy Habanero chilli peppers...I had the person buying Okras next to me (well meaning person...) say you know those are Habaneros ...right...really really hot...

The Habaneros were a sight to behold - some green, some orange and others bright red....beautiful specimens...I used a red habanero in a pasta dish I was making and it was not killing hot, the next one I used in a Huevos Rancheros and it had me running to open the windows while the rest of the family was sneezing and coughing when the spice from the cooking hit them....the Huevos turned out deliciously spicy...umm no one else wanted to try it ...Reminds me of Forrest Gump's saying - Life is like a box of chocolates...in this case a bunch of Habaneros and you don't know how spicy they will be...I sure has fun trying to make spicy hot dishes with this new kitchen companion...next on the list is a peach salsa with habanero...

K2 has been not keeping well, what with a throat infection and fever the past couple days. We are feeding him hot soups and keeping him inside the house. I worry about him but I think falling sick is a part of growing up, so I am trying not to play the part of the paranoid mom. I am currently curled up next to a book called "Shark's Fin and Sichuan Pepper" by Fuchsia Dunlop...Don't Judge me please...I love spicy chinese food. I am vegetating today as I know I have a long work week to look forward to...

Social Networks...

A question plagues my mind constantly - How social am I as an individual? Having an undergraduate degree in Sociology and a masters in Organizational Behavior really gets the mental juices flowing from time to time...the constant knock!knock! in the mind gets tiring and no ready answers are available.

How do you describe social?

(A) The Amount of time you spend with people

(B) The number of friends you have on Facebook/the number of comments you get on Facebook

(C) The number of personal emails you receive in a day (no! junk email doesn't count)

(D) The number of evenings where you have plans and outings

(E) Social Events/Parties....

The list goes on...I find the idealogy behind the Six Degrees of Separation pretty creepy and at the same time profound...maybe the human web does exist. If it doesn't what is this attraction (correction!) addiction to being Linked in, Being Connected on Face Book....and if that is not enough creating more traffic with tweets...is it my desire to be popular, my desire to exhibit my superior intellectual compentence (BS), my desire to be social, be heard...WHAT?
Anyway, at the end of the day, these social networks are a boon and a bane...they expose the sheer irrelavence of some of my activities (which I strive to tell myself are critical to my existence)....I am sure there are a number of you that agree with my viewpoint (and the fact that I care shows that I am far from the anti-social person, I would love to paint myself to be).

For now all I can say is that these Social Networks are making my evenings a little more exciting, I look forward to "Notifications" on Facebook or "Accepted" on Linked In...makes me feel a little bit more of a part of something a lot larger than me and makes me feel relavent and needed and wanted in the big picture..comprende?...if not go ahead update your status on Facebook, post some more pictures on Facebook...add some more connections on Linked In and you are on the path to Social Nirvana, that I still seem to be exploring...

The inquisitive mind

The Brutally Honest Personality Test ...

I just found out I was a "Borefest" --

One word. Boring. Sums you up to a tee. You're responsible, trustworthy, serious and down to earth. Boring. Boring. Boring.
You play by the rules. You follow tradition. You encourage structure.
You insist that EVERYBODY do EVERYTHING by the book. Seriously, is there even an ounce of imagination in that little brain of yours? I mean, what's the point of imagination, right? It has no practical value...
As far as you're concerned, abstract theories can go screw themselves. You just want the facts, all the facts and nothing but the facts.
Oh. And you're a perfectionist. About everything. You know that the previous sentence was gramattically incorrect and that "gramattically" was spelt wrong. Your financial records are correct to 25 decimal places and your bedroom is in pristine condition. In fact, you even don't sleep on your bed anymore for fear that you might crease the sheets....

This personality test did give me a lot of food for thought :)

How was your long weekend? I spent Saturday at the Oakland Zoo with my son, Sunday I had a late brunch with family and then a hindi movie "New York". Sunday as usual was a trip to the Farmer's Market for fruits and vegetables -- Carrots, Zucchini, Sinqua, Eggplant, Tomatoes, Peaches and Plums are on the menu for this week....

Hope you all had a wonderful and relaxed weekend!