My weeks are mostly upbeat and busy with a few
weeks thrown in that are absolutely exhilarating and brilliant and then there
are some weeks where all I want to do is drag myself back home, lick my virtual
wounds, drag the comforter over my head and just go to sleep! This past week
was in the last category and honestly after sulking alone for an entire evening
and a day (the husband and kid were away at a Robotics tournament), I said
enough was enough and took the puppy out for a long hike to clear my head and by the end of my 2 hour plus long walk I felt more like the
"hero" of my story vs. that person that needed rescuing.
How to Break Free from Victim Mentality?
- Take ownership and responsibility for your actions are and their outcomes.Determine what is needed and what is important to you and what do you need to do to make it happen. Don’t waste time blaming or getting angry at those who don’t want or need the same things you do. Get busy taking care of what’s important to you, and leave the others out of it.
- Stop blaming. When you hear yourself going into blame stories, whether against other people, the world, life, whomever or whatever... say “stop” to yourself out loud, and actually turn your attention away from your blaming thoughts.
- Become aware of the root of your sense of powerlessness. Before you construct the next narrative on who’s stealing your power, get curious about the underlying feelings of powerlessness that precede all situations. Fix it!
- Be compassionate to yourself and others. Acknowledge your suffering with kindness, and then consider how to snap out of it. If there is a way for you to help someone else snap out of it ...more power to you. Offering kindness is the surest antidote to “Poor me.”
- Practice Gratitude. Victim mentality focuses you on your perceived loss . Try flipping your perspective and focusing on something that matters to you, that you do enjoy, and that you do "get." Shift your attention from what you’re missing to what you have. Today I am immensely grateful that my son and his awesome robotics team clean-swept the robotics tournament and qualified at the State Level. I am grateful for this beautiful view of a tree standing alone but strong...beautiful in it's solitude, grateful for the playful puppy who walked an hour by my side as we quietly enjoyed nature and the quiet peace.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the
entire universe, deserve your love and attention.” — Buddha