Tentative Parenting : The Courage to be Disliked...

Prodigal Son : Ma - what's for dinner?
Working Mom : Sambar and Dosa...yummy na?
Prodigal Son : Ma - you made Indian again 😔...what about Ravioli?
Working Mom : I want you to eat some Indian food too baba...
(Prodigal Son walks away with a huff)

For a mother who wakes up extra early in the morning to get dinner prep done in the morning prior to leaving for work, this can be particularly disheartening. Especially when I know that I can have Ravioli or Pasta or even Sausage and Potatoes on the table in < 15 minutes too. However, a book that I read this weekend, gave me a new perspective on how to react to situations like this "small or big". The book was a japanese phenomenon apparently but I picked it up because it didn't give me lip service on how I can sparkle and shine and get liked by everyone but talked about having "The Courage to be Disliked"

Here are some of the key things the book reinforced for me :

1. You care too much about what everyone else thinks about you and that is the root of your anxiety and unhappiness (yup! somewhat)
2. Your excuses are weak and sometimes you don't have the courage to look the real problem in the face and tackle it (guilty as charged!)
3. Learning to separate your tasks from other people's is key to finding a bit of freedom and living a little more true to yourself (so true - I am constantly picking up after prodigal son, worried about if he is eating, grades, theater, robotics...and don't get me started about work...)
4. All problems are relationship problems : it comes down to us wanting to change how others think of us or perceive us and it also involves us getting incredibly righteous and judgy about other people...result - CONFLICT
5. the last one my favorite - All relationships are horizontal...we treat them as vertical, in some we look up to people and it changes how we interact with them and in others we look down on people and it affects how we interact with them...what if we treated all relationships from an equal footing...an interesting thought right?

With that said it's still 6.30 AM and my dosa batter is ready for the evening and my sambar is bubbling away in the Instant Pot. What you want my Sambar recipe...sure thing...I can tell you it's a life-saver recipe for me 😊

15 Minute Sambar

You need :

• Chopped Onion (1/2), Chopped Garlic (3-4 Pods), Chopped Tomato (1)
• 1 Large Daikon Radish (chopped into medium size)
• 1 cup Toor Dal (soaked in hot water)
• Grand Sweets and Snacks Sambar Powder (Indian Store)
• Imli Pichku ( pouch of tamarind  pulp)
• Other items : Turmeric Powder, Hing, Whole Mustard, Curry Leaves, Ghee

Steps :

1. Turn the IP to Saute Mode -  Add in 1/2 spoon ghee, add the hing, now splutter the mustard seeds and curry leaves. 
2. Add the Chopped Onions and Garlic and brown it in the instant pot.
3. Once onions are browned, add the turmeric, sambar powder, chopped tomatoes, cut daikon radish and soaked dal. Add 2.5 cups of water, more if you like your sambar a watery consistency
4. Give it a whirl, add salt to taste and the tamarid paste
5. High Pressure 10 minutes (depending on how mushy you want your sambar - I tend to go longer) - No Release

Tips & Tricks : 

1. Double the Quantity and save some for the next day! I always do and it tastes better
2. Pack Quinoa and Sambar for a quick hot lunch for your kids (add a dollop of ghee, they need it)
3. Add a cup of Quinoa and an extra cup and half of water - it's an easy version  of Besibelebhaat

My biggest learning the past few months has been while nourishing your body with food and exercise don't forget to nourish your soul and spirit...whether it's a random act of kindness, whether it's just good old solitude or reading a wonderful book like the one I did...be kind to yourself.