Healing Cabbage Soup!

Sometimes you have to lose something to gain something better. A door has to shut before a new door can open. 

I will be lying if I tell you that this "new normal" is working out 100%...but what I will tell you is my perspective is slowly shifting towards compassion, catharsis and community thinking from one of panic and a sense of frustration and hopelessness ( remember I live in a county which is severely affected by the Corona Virus!)

I am a lot more focused on health - Can you believe it I finally stopped worrying about learning choreos and actually took the plunge last week and took my first BollyX class virtually last week and the feeling of community in that virtual space was awesome - I was helping people connect with each other and with their fitness goals. I took a plank challenge with my son and I showed him who was the #Queen 😆...I have taken countless walks with my puppy, baked brownies, bonded with my family...my mother in law is here and it's been wonderful pulling her on this healthy journey with me --- in fact she has lost 4 lbs in 2 weeks and is dancing BollyX now.

This week and for the past couple others I have been making my " Healing Cabbage Soup" ....why healing because Cabbage is such a sidelined vegetable which is so good for our bodies. It is in the same family as Kale and Cauliflower but a way milder one when you cook with it...and at Trader Joe's for some reason had cabbage heads for $1/head (and guess what I picked up 3...no one else seemed to want them...)

Healing Cabbage Soup

What you need?

• 1 tsp turmeric
• 1 tsp Avocado Oil ( you can use whatever oil you have on hand or even ghee)
• 2 tablespoons or more Braggs Liquid Amino
• 2 teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar (no idea why I added it but it sure made the soup taste awesome and hello! its good for us 😆)
• 2 Cartons Vegetable Broth or even water - I like the broth just because I have quite a few in my pantry that need to get used.
• 1 cup soaked Dhuli Moong Daal (the kind without the skin) - I soaked it in boiling hot water from the kettle for 1/2 hour 
• Chopped Vegetables -  1 head of Cabbage finely chopped, 1 bunch of organic celery from my farmer's market (yup! they are open, yup! people are too scared to go even though there is social distancing and yes they will probably go bankrupt if this continues and lose their livelihood...), 4 Organic Carrots, 1 bunch Organic Mint, 1 Chopped Red Onion, Minced Garlic
• Salt and Black Pepper to taste

How to make?

1. Turn the IP to Saute and add the oil/fat
2. Add the turmeric powder  and black pepper when the oil is sufficiently hot
3. Now add the minced garlic, celery and onion - saute till lightly browned
4. Add the rest of the vegetables and herbs, Saute for 2-3 minutes
5. Add the Broth and the liquid aminos and ACV
6. Now add the soaked moong dal
7. Set on  High Pressure for 8 minutes, No Release...yes! I know that seems like a lot but trust me on this one!
8. When it's all done use an immersion blender and puree the soup
9. Add Salt and Pepper to taste

I garnished it with some fresh garlic bread  and herbs from the Farmer's Market. It was such a soul-satisfying meal.

How are you spending your days? What are you doing to stay fit? I feel like how we shape our activities over the next month will shape a lot of how we build our mental and physical resilience to fight against depression, loneliness, burn-out, weight creep etc...we are in this together...hang in there and we will fight this virus together!

Tentative Parenting : Leap of Faith

" Sometimes all you got to do is take a deep long breath, close your eyes and  take that leap of faith... p.s : keep your fingers crossed at the back that everything works out" 
                                           ---Meenakshi

                                                                                               

                            Photo Credit : Aman Barboza, Venue : Oracle Corporation

My son taught me a lesson this week - in 7th grade at the ripe age of 11 he auditioned for a role in the school play for the first time...for a boy who never sings or dances...he showed remarkable grace and fortitude. Sometimes the toughest part about a new journey - is the beginning. There is a little inner voice telling us how comfortable we are with status quo, telling us we are not ready or capable or is the risk even worth it...so we keep grinding away living a life other than the one we dared to dream about.

So K2's audition ended with him finding his "magic lamp"...he is Aladdin in their school play...my search for the magic lamp begins next month as I take my "leap of faith".

In our current world which is "turning tides" and where women are finally beginning to move beyond "could have, should have, would have"...drop those mental shackles and take that leap of faith...at the end of it all - we end up with two life lists : All the things that we did and all the things that we "wish" we had done. 

Get cracking on that first list...I am right with you!

p.s : if you came to my blog looking for an instant pot recipe - have you tried my berry jam yet - it is delicious and takes literally 5 minutes to make :-)

Bridging the Gender Gap

“Too often women overestimate the risks and underestimate themselves. Only by doing the very things we’re afraid of can we come to realize how little reason we ever had to fear. The only way to build confidence and courage is by acting with it.”

A creature of habit - I got up this morning at 6.45 AM. I jump into the morning "school run" routine. I heat up the water for the morning chai, start the pressure cooker for a choley subzi , heat up my son's AM hot chocolate and start emptying the dishwasher. I am like a "robot on auto-pilot" packing my son's lunch box with snacks and drinks, waiting for the choley to get done so that I can pack it in his thermos. I am done with most of the activities around 7.30 AM and sit down with my cup of chai (after I have poured out a cup for my mother and K1) and my customary handful of peanuts to check on urgent emails that need a quick response. As I was in the middle of a work email, suddenly the pressure cooker whistles and I instruct K2 aka my general boy friday - my son to switch off the pressure cooker and my husband to get a bag of Annie's cookies from the garage. My mother suddenly comments - Come On you are doing nothing...just ordering them around - how do you get your exercise - BollyX? 
That was the proverbial matador waving a red cloth before the bull - of course! I lost it !!! But the reality is this is not just my mother's  (Note : I said mother not MIL) attitude...this is the attitude of most women my mother's generation from our part of the globe - the expectation that a woman/girl should seamlessly don multiple hats while the men can rest and relax (on the merit of the fact that they were born men !!!).  Seriously - if women can't be a support system for women (especially your own mother) who else will be?
Anyway enough said about my gender gap travails and lets talk about the above-mentioned Choley/Channa Masala that is honestly a life-saver in my meal plans because it's so simple.

CHANNA/CHOLEY MASALA

What you Need?

Bhuna Masala - I make this by the truckload and freeze it ( I make enough to last me 1-2 months). I take a little bit of oil (about 1/2 tsp) and add jeera and turmeric - then I add grated ginger ( 1 huge knob) and garlic ( one entire one) and let it cook with 6 Red Onions till the onions brown, then I add 6 large tomatoes or 8 medium tomatoes and cook for 10 minutes, the more you cook the better the bhuna masala tastes. When it has cooled down a bit I grind the masala in my Blendetec and store in small mason jars in my freezer for use as and when needed. This makes my normal day to day cooking way uncomplicated. And if we are honest here, I am no cooking diva - just someone who loves eating and loves eating healthy. I used the Bhuna Masala from my freezer today.

Choley Masala - I use Roopak's Pindi Chana Masala - I swear by this one - but I am sure you have your favorite brand, go ahead and use that

Canned Organic Garbanzo Beans  (from Trader Joe's) - no preservatives in this only sea-salt. I wash and rinse the chickpeas out to control how much salt goes into the dish.

Ketchup,  Cilantro, Cinnamon Powder (optional)

In your Pressure Cooker or Instant Pot - first Saute the Bhuna Masala (no oil for me) but if you are so inclined with a bit of oil. Use one large table spoon of bhuna masala per can of choley. Then add the Chana Masala - everyone has their formula - I add a large teaspoon per can of Choley. I cook for a while and then add the choley. In the Instant Pot I cook the Choley for 5 minutes high pressure, NR. On the pressure cooker I cook it for 2 whistles, QR. Add salt to taste. I add some ketchup (don't ask me why, it kicks the taste up a notch) and then sprinkle cinnamon  to taste and Cilantro (if I have it).

I usually make 3 cans worth of choley and it lasts us two meals - honestly it tastes better the next day with just a side of toast. I am enjoying a quiet lunch at my desk of Channa Masala and a banana as I write this blog post

I will leave you with the thought that - the way I am countering this gender gap is I am bringing up a boy who appreciates working women, who empathizes with the efforts we put into keeping our work lives & personal lives running smoothly. More importantly I am bringing up a boy who can  COOK a killer Channa Masala.

Tentative Parenting : The Grass is Greener on the Other Side...

"The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where YOU water "

I am very impressed with K2 - I had blogged his first brush with failure in the 3rd grade in a blog post (Read Here).  He had a similar event happen in 4th grade and then in 5th grade he wanted to stand for the Student's council activity director and I had tonnes of unexpressed misgivings - I helped him with his posters (he had most of the ideas) and his speech (mostly word corrections and a couple suggestions from me). He gave his speech on his birthday and was pretty sure he would win - he lost spectacularly !!! I gave him the right lip service - you gave it your best shot dude! You focus on the right actions, don't worry about the results  (courtesy : Bhagvad Gita) . What else can you do as a parent but  be supportive and not molly coddle. However, there was a part of me that was tired of watching him try so hard and lose.
The next day he comes up to me and says : Ma, I am standing for the class rep on Friday! I  made sure none of my dismay showed on my face and I was suitably encouraging ( I laid it out thick on the husband in the night...seriously he lost 3 times and he wants to try again !!!).  K2 worked on his poster and speech and guess what! he WON Class Rep. He taught me a lesson - this child of mine - never ever give up - tenacity, the right intent and right actions always pay off in the end.

Do you remember a blog that I had posted about 4 weeks back - albeit one where I was recovering from a pretty bad viral flu (so some of the things I said don't  make sense even to me ;-) ). But the grass now "grows" green in my beautiful front lawn. I taught my son something with that incident - he now believes that if you stand up strong for what you believe in is right - things will work out in your favor eventually.

I wanted to thank the folks who participated in the heartwalk on Oct 20th. Our team beat our target  for walkers by  8  and our fund-raising goals by $500 - all thanks to you !!!

Tentative Parenting : Steaming over STEM!

I  don't like this tug of war between what is more important the Sciences or Arts.  What is important is that every human being deserves to learn about the arts & humanities, just as each person should be cognizant of the sciences.

I am mother to a 9 year old boy and most of the conversations happening in the past year have been all around empowering girls (and boys) in the area of STEM - and the reality is I haven't been comfortable with this propaganda. I have been encouraging my mathematically inclined son to explore nature, arts & literature and drama.

I come from a culture where STEM was over-emphasized. In India, there were only two  education options available to kids from the  ambitious middle class families in the early 90's (there I have dated myself)  - Medicine or Engineering. Imagine my mother's horror, shock and disappointment when I went into a totally obscure  and unheard of humanities field. I remember the societal pressure to follow a certain course - I remember the sympathetic looks my mother's friends gave her and the pangs of inadequacy I felt when I caught those looks. I will never forget the statement my mother made on my first day of college - well B.A. in Arts means you are getting ready to get married, so you better learn to make Rotis (Indian Bread) True Fact - I haven't made a Roti till date but then we are digressing ;-)

My sincere hope is that we don't add in one alphabet to STEM and say let's focus on STEAM  and believe that it solves a multitude of issues...the reality is every child is born with a unique set of skills, aptitude and inclination - it is super important that we nurture and help them blossom into confident, socially adept human beings who are secure in their place in this society. What I see happening more and more is this focus on Brilliance, Killer Drive and Genius and the things that seem to be falling on the wayside are - social and life skills, generosity and kindness - the ability to get along, get things done together, solve problems together (vs. just being the sole heroes). 

Dr. Seuss was seriously onto something when he said  the quote below AND this is a quote that I keep repeating to my boy when he asks me - Ma what do you want me to become :)  - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go. 

Tentative Parenting : Monkey See, Monkey Do

K2 : Ma, how come we have no hair products at home
Working Mom : Huh! We have shampoo and coconut oil - what are you talking about?
K2  (rolls his eyes) : Ma - I mean hair products like hair gel
Working Mom (Stretching the truth) : K2, you know all that is bad for your hair right?
K2 : Ma - But R, C and T use it - so I think it's alright - can you please get me some?
Working Mom : No can do baby! Not quite yet. Let's give it a couple more years and then if you still feel like putting artificial goop in your hair, its your choice. How about we talk about this again when you are 13?

In the urban dictionary "Monkey See, Monkey Do" is  - an expression describing someone who imitates another person's actions, good or bad,simply by having watched them before.
Given the sociologist in me I researched this some more and here are some loose guidelines I have set for myself in my parenting quest :

1. Be intentional about your child's surroundings but be open to the fact that he will be exposed to both positive and negative role-models. For eg. K2 has this friend who only eats whites (white rice, white yogurt, white pasta with alfredo saunce, pretty much no veggies and fruits) and K2 takes a lot of pleasure in throwing up the friend's example when he is given 2 servings of fruits and veggies for both lunch and dinner - I just smile and ask him what the Doctor told him in his last check-up - Eat 6-7 servings of veggies and fruits  ( the argument ends there!)
2. Notice the positive - K2 was reluctant about brushing twice (don't ask-I won't tell) till his friend had a rather painful cavity extraction and was very explicit about detailing the painful experience - I have noticed regular brushing and flossing as an offshoot #FTW
3. Talk about it - Like we did about the hair products - it's not about giving in or it's not about being controlling - it's about letting them know Why Not and when they can use it if they still want to --- We have had a similar discussion around soda, getting him a phone etc. etc...the list doesn't end (can't say the same about the patience level!)
4. Do as you say - I limited  the conversation around my son's use of hair gel but it was an easier talk for me to have with him because he sees that at home Mom and Dad don't really use a lot of these products - the soda conversation was an easy one because we have no soda lying around in the house.

It's so easy for the young ones and the not-so young ones to get caught up in this behavior - whether it's hair styles, dresses, make-up, shoes, designer bags, accents, behavioral aspects...we tend to look up to and ape role models. I constantly  remind K2 and myself of something my father told me while I was growing up " it takes nothing to join the crowd, it takes grit and courage to stand alone - you don't have to fit in unless you want to ...always remember that" 

 Happy Friday! So are you living in a world of "Monkey See, Monkey Do or are you being an Original Monkey" :-)

Tentative Parenting : What's for dinner Mommy?

"Housework is something you do that nobody notices till you don't do it"

I walk into the house all pumped up on adrenalin - networking at work after work and  being a part of a cool panel definitely added to the excitement

I walk into the house at 7.45 PM and get a hug and a question - the question is one that fills a lot of moms with dread especially on those days when they are bone-tired and all they are looking for is some liquid sustenance (preferably white and fizzy for me - thank you very much!), a horizontal resting place and a TV remote - What's for dinner Mommy? 

And guess what this planner Mom hadn't planned dinner for tonight. So I take 5 for cleaning up and then get to work in the kitchen. Dinner is on the table by 8.15 PM. What's for dinner you ask? Quinoa Pasta - we usually try and keep Monday Dinners (and most other days actually!) meatless. Here's the recipe I used for my Quinoa Pasta  ( I swapped out the Canellini Beans for Chickpeas/Garbanzo Beans, I didn't use Zucchini, Carrots and Celery (didn't have it) -  used Spinach, Bell Peppers and Green Peas instead!). The drink of choice for the family was Sambazon's Acai Juice.

A sobering piece of statistic that I read over the weekend ( and I am playing my part in enabling it) was this -

• In 2003, the Bureau of  Labor Statistics reported that :  63 percent of men reported doing some household activity, while 84 percent of women did most. In 2014, the numbers were almost the same, according to the BLS: 65 percent for men and 83 percent for women. 
• The numbers are more stark in India where I think the percentage is more like 20% men participating in housework to 98% women (these numbers have no basis in any studies but I will wager a bet that my percentages are not far off)

The reality is that the needle hasn't moved much in eleven years - I take my comfort in the knowledge that I am training my son to be an equal partner when it comes to house work. And to the women in the same boat as me I will give you the same advise that I give myself - Prioritize, Plan and (when all else fails) Pray & Improvise ;-)

So what did you cook for dinner Mom?

Ho Ho Ho...Life and all that!

It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air...

Dear Everyone, 

We worked hard, so that we could play harder after...

We put up our tree (only just barely in time!)

Tried new foods...

Took  a picture of Mama and she returned the favor...

Climbed a small mountain....

And finally got some bare essentials plus some extras to make the holidays special... ( the foie gras is Mama's -- she forces me to have it, along with Kale Chips and herbal chai...HELP!

Most of all I am looking forward to a quiet time, long hikes, some uncoordinated dancing to music on Pandora, lots of binge watching of The Flash & Arrow, some home work, time with my family and of course ordering Mama around for food, food and more food...Joy and Peace to all! See you in 2016.

Lots of Love,
K2 (and K2's Mom)

Giving Thanks...and giving someone a break (yup! talking about Aamir Khan)

The reality is that there has been too many #hate #intolerance #religion topics on Facebook lately - from our very own Trump who contemplated  that he would consider requiring Muslim-Americans to register with a government database, or worse, mandating that they carry special identification cards that note their faith ( do I really need any more reason to dislike him?) to the violent acts in Paris just a week and half back to one of my favorite actors Aamir Khan publicly noting - his wife often wonders if they should move out of the country (India) ... the amount of negative press Aamir Khan got was mind boggling  for me.

He made a  statement based on his personal experiences living in a country since his birth - so what if he is famous and lives with the proverbial "gold spoon in his mouth"...the man is entitled to his opinion. Truth be told, I feel like him sometimes living here (away from India) especially when I read about all the shootings in the schools and universities (and there is no stringent actions being taken on gun control!). How does a man's voicing his fear make him the scapegoat for comments like "unpatriotic, an idiot, a school drop-out" etc...)

I love  my India...just as much as I love US, the country that gave me a chance to find myself, spread my wings and grow as a human being. I am thankful for the experiences from both these wonderful nations. However I  agree with AK...there is  intolerance, hate and violence and we are seeing outbursts of it daily in some form or the other...blaming it on a certain sect or a certain religion is myopic.

I want to begin my Thanksgiving Weekend on a positive note with a saying from Buddha..he says "Love is the gift of one's innermost self to another, so that we both can together be whole"...very wonderful sounding in words, so hard to practice in reality. Yes,  I am trying and teaching my son the same...Giving Thanks for what we have and Practicing Love and Gratitude (it doesn't come naturally to me and is WIP)

Taken on one of my trips to HK (I made it a point to visit all the Buddha temples in HK)

Tentative Parenting : The Phenomenon of Indian Standard Time

6.30 AM : I wake up to the irritating beeps of the smoke detector, signaling that it needed a new battery. Pulled the offending machine out and tried to change batteries, couldn't - so kept it aside.
7.00 AM : Attended to urgent emails and work stuff. Started the kettle, heated the milk for my son's morning hot chocolate, started packing his lunch box and snack bag. Get ready for work
7.30 AM : Wake son up and give him his milk, pack my lunch, clean up the kitchen and remind him to pack his school bag with homework, lunch and snack bag
8.05 AM : The prodigal son is still sitting with his half-finished milk staring into space...the shrill voices start and I start a count down for him to finish his milk...
8.26 AM : Half worn shoes, sleepy eyes and we rush the long distance of less than a mile to school...the prodigal son skips the assembly and goes straight to class to avoid getting a tardy

I am at my wits end as to how to fix this malaise... the prodigal son gives me a bewildered look - when I tell him - Why don't you stop adhering to Indian Standard Time...he says - but Ma I am Californian! (alrighty then!)

Are we Indians being branded wrongly - as the race that is perpetually late?  I believe there is no smoke without fire in this case...

 I am guilty as charged on the personal front - to family dinners, meeting friends...I do get a little lax with my rules but have a stringent double standard when it comes to work stuff - I need to be punctual...no excuses.

Here are a few guidelines I set for my son this week :

#1 Set Realistic Timelines - Plan backwards...see how much time you need to get ready for school, then add a 15 minute buffer - that's the time you need to get up in the AM
#2 Get Organized - Pack you soccer bag in the night, keep your shoes out and pack your homework the night before...to avoid running around like a headless chicken in the AM and helping convert your working mom into a screeching banshee.
#3 Enjoy Downtime - if you get to a place early, enjoy the 5-10 minutes of peace and quiet...we got to his soccer photo shoot 20 minutes early today...he played with his friends while I baked in the heat catching up with the soccer moms.

Lesson for Prodigal Son and Working Mom - Being on time,every time conveys more than a sense of good timing - it tells people that you are on top of things, organized, can be counted on for stuff and that you value them and their time and ultimately value yourself.

Tentative Parenting : Dealing with Uncertainity

My son started 4th Grade on Wednesday - new teacher, some old friends and mostly new experiences. He jumped out of bed with a smile and said - Ma, I am ready. He did hold our hands briefly while walking to school but once there he quickly got his bearing and was ready for any curve ball life had to throw his way.

Ironically about the same time K2 was dealing with ambiguity in his life I was thrown a curve ball at work - rather than talk about what it was -- I will tell you that it has a reasonably large impact on my professional life. I don't know if I handled it with the same maturity and grace that my 8 years old showed, however I did want to share my learnings 

# Replace expectations with plans - this works really well for me as I am a planner - instead of expecting the future to give me something specific, when I am focused on where I want to get and how I get there -- I feel more comfortable.

#Be confident in your coping mechanisms - I am a typical Product Manager - I think of multiple outcomes for the same thing and usually plan for the worst one...I was pleasantly shocked when I read the book, The Positive Power of Negative Thinking,  (man! I should have written this book!) I was really on to something with defensive pessimism—when you consider the worst so you can plan how you’d handle it (without letting it bog you down!), you are mostly covered.

#Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude - As I was kissing my son Goodnight last night, I realized that I had been given a veritable treasure - a great family, good health, no wants and am a working mom who is able to balance her career & personal responsibilities. The reality is I know all this is transitional I might have this today and not have it tomorrow. I am grateful for what I have now...

# When all else fails go  Zumba - My best grief & stress management tool is Zumba (hands down) - Guess who went Zumba yesterday...thanks to my awesome friends and instructors for the extra love and the chance to drown my sorrows in sweat

Note to Self and Krish - Life as we know it is changing...however ambiguity is a beautiful thing - it presents wonderful opportunities. Take a minute to miss the old, then look ahead and prepare for the new.

Tentative Parenting : Inside Out...

I am inside out, outside looking in,

No matter where I go,

I can't escape my skin

I can act cool, I can act proud

No matter where I go, I am still alone in the crowd

Inside Out, On the outside looking in
                                                           --- Tony Emmanuel 

As I was dusting off the cobwebs of sleep today in the last few minutes of Keith's Yoga Class (Savasana always does that to me...) I also mourned the fact to Uma Aunty that I will be taking K2 to watch "Jurassic World" and why couldn't he just watch "Inside Out" -- As kismet would have it my son changed his mind and we ended up watching "Inside Out". After yesterday's incident -- this was just the movie we needed to watch...

What was yesterday's incident you ask? Well K2 went for an Oakland's A's game with his camp - he got a little bit of money to spend at the stadium - long and short of it is he spent it on baseball cards - he got  really good  cards but doesn't really know much about baseball - did some bad trades and the results in the evening yesterday was this -

We had one sad kid at home and lots of water work...he got a lot of sympathy from dad who said the other kid tricked him into the trade... I was a little harder...let him cry for a while and then said he would lose his ipad over the weekend if the waterworks continued...I got the sad look but the water works miraculously stopped...

This movie had me thinking of the situation from K2's perspective :

(a) He was sad

(b) his friend had played a fast con on him ( I begged to differ!)

(c) He had no way to fix the situation

Sadness was the primary emotion here...however as Inside Out made it aptly clear to him and me today - sadness is not just healthy, it is essential for one's existence as happiness. The key is one needs to be comfortable in one's own skin and with one's own emotions....lots to think about BUT seriously pondering one's parenting skills at midnight after a glass or two of white is sub-optimal. So I will quit while I am still ahead.

Any plans for the long weekend? 

Tentative Parenting : The little things in life...

"Enjoy the little things in life, for someday you will realize they were the big things."

Today feels like any other day...not that special or a one-off...I got up in the morning, feeling no different, made lunch for K2, got on a couple calls, went to a Yoga class...walked to lunch...attended meetings, picked K2 and spent time with the 3 boys (the 2K's and my brother "A")...yet it was so much more. It was a Birthday...and it was an incredibly memorable one...

# 1 My Ma face timed me to wish me 

# 2 Aura's wonderful message on FB

#3 K1 wishing me  in the AM

#4 Me talking to my grandma in Orissa

#5 The kids in the bus wishing me Happy Birthday

#6 Birthday wishes galore from my family and friends - whatsapp, fb, txt messages, voice messages (feeling so special and loved!)

#7 My Yoga teacher  Keith threw in 2 of my favorite poses - Kapothasana (Pigeon) and Gomukha Asana 

#8 I got myself vanilla cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and Mango Sorbet (that's what I wanted to eat today not the whole wheat carrot cupcakes :-) )

#9 Rashmi took me for an impromptu lunch at the Oracle Cafe

#10 On my way back to my office I saw this elegant bird fearlessly watching and waiting

#11 Dinner with the 3 Boys was wonderful...it was at my favorite Malaysian place....shaved mango ice (yum!)

#12 Wrapping up with a stroll around the lake... 

Someone once asked me - why do you love these birds so much...and K2 told them - it reminds her of Bapa (my father). I think these birds symbolized the life he wanted to lead - free unencumbered by worries, doubts, criticisms, dislikes and judgement.For my 21st Birthday he had brought me back this beautiful "Kiwi" pendant from New Zealand...and every time I wear it, I remember - it's the little things in  the life that count...

Tentative Parenting : Sometimes Prioritization is a 4-lettered cuss word!

 pri·or·i·tize - To arrange or deal with in order of importance

Dealing with Engineers and Sales  it had been pretty uncomplicated to negotiate product priorities with the teams. We agreed on some basic tenets (revenue/customer requests, competitive differentiation, architectural improvements etc.)  and the team allowed one person (the product manager) to set those priorities based on those tenets and trusted them to do it right. I tried to apply those same rules to my parenting and it usually works when I am dealing with K2 (alone) and I give him options to pick from -- initially he rebelled and as time passed he understood the importance of options and priorities. Tried to apply the same principle today in the afternoon when I tried to get K1 and K2 to decide on the flavor of cake they wanted baked : K2 loves Vanilla and K1 loves Chocolate...after 1/2 hr of negotiation and them still being at an impasse  - Epic Failure !!!

I gave up and took out my baking mitts and ended up baking both a Vanilla and  Chocolate Cake...with help from the 2 K's - K1 got to the Chocolate Cake before I took my pictures :-(

Serves: 16

ACTIVE TIME: 5 minutes

TOTAL TIME: 35 minutes

INGREDIENTS

• 1 Cup Whole Wheat Pastry Flour
• Handful of chopped nuts & dried fruits (raisins, hazelnuts, almonds)
• 1 Cup Mango/Pineapple Puree (or any fruit you wish to add)
• 2 Egg Whites
• 1/2 Cup of Fat free Milk
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 Cup of Sugar (I used Stevia)
• 2 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1/2 Cup Cocoa Powder (unsweetened)  -- for the Chocolate Cake
• Pinch of Salt to Taste

PREPARATION
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.  I stick all the ingredients in my Food Processor and blend to cake consistency. Pour into a round well greased cake pan. Bake 30-35 minutes till  toothpick inserted comes out clean.

Nutritional Insights : Calories per Serving - 120, Carbs - 10 g, Fat - 5 g, Protein - 8 g, Fiber - 3 g 

Tentative Parenting : 7 Habits for Healthy Living

All my life, I had eaten like there was no tomorrow - not thinking of consequences, just focused on the taste, textures and the feelings that eating brought me. Food was my refuge as a shy, overweight teenager and it was always with me even when I felt lonely and lost.I never did have a AHA! moment about healthy eating and yes! I still obsess about food, the inner critic is especially loud about my unseemly bulges and yet I have managed to bring some amount of balance into my life - I have managed to maintain a healthy weight without dieting and have developed a healthy appreciation for whole foods & exercise

My weight loss journey hasn't been a very dramatic one. It has been a slow, gradual progress of adding foods that fit into our life style easily. It was about tweaking my exercise regimen from being focused solely on Yoga for 10 years to gradually progressing to Zumba - 5 times a week for the past 2 years and now I am attempting to add in some resistance training too. 

My son  on the other hand has been exposed to real foods from Day 1 of his existence - homemade Quinoa and Sweet Potato Porridge, Khichari made with seasonal organic vegetables, Kale, Kefir, Chia Seeds....in fact this 8 year old kid averages 25,000 Steps on his Fitbit -- motivating me to stretch beyond my meagre 10K to the 15K range. The words of advice that I offer to my son are the following ( though on second thoughts I should be the one taking the advise from him)  - 

#1 Sleep will not solve all of your problems, but not sleeping will create new ones
#2 Playing Sports will keep you happy and healthy. Keep Moving!
#3 Working Out signals to others that you are hard-working, focused and disciplined. Don't overdo it though -- you don't want to come across as swaggering, narcissistic and self-absorbed
#4 Nature Rocks - make nature a part of your fitness routine - be it long walks or hikes. Your mind, body & spirit will thank you for it one day
#5 Food is fuel - think about what you are putting into your body. If you eat crap you will feel like crap...if you eat well you will feel GREAT
#6 Strong = Self Sufficient - When you get stronger you don't have to ask me to open bottles for you - you will be opening bottles for me...ain't that an uplifting thought
#7 Endorphins help you cope - Remember your Ma and how she was sad two years back and every time she felt like crying -- you said Ma - go to your Zumba class you will feel better! At 6 years you were wise beyond words K2 -- now I offer you the same advice for life. When you are angry or sad- go run around the block, go for a walk and just breath, or go shoot the ball in the hoop for an hour...I guarantee it you will feel better.

And today for dinner just because I was obsessing over it - I have made K2 Dark Chocolate Dessert Waffles ( I couldn't make him waffles for Breakfast in the AM today)

You Need

• Kodiak Whole Wheat, Oat and Honey Waffle Mix (  Whole Grains and minimal processing)
• Dreams Blend  (Unsweetened - I use this instead of water)
• Navitas Raw Chocolate Powder  
• Homemade Rasberry Coulis
• Stevia to taste
• Fresh Raspberries (on the side)
• Organic Whipped Cream  (on the side)

Process

•  Blend all the items on Pulse in your blender ( I use my Blendtec)
•  In the meantime heat up your Waffle Griddle
• Start making your Waffles – serve with fresh fruit and whipped cream
• Serve for an extra decadent, guiltless dessert - my son asked for seconds and thirds and I had no issues giving it to him

Photo & Recipe Credit - Ellie Krieger

At the end of the day Food for the body is not quite enough, you need food for the soul to sustain yourself.

Tentative Parenting : Being You

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”  

                                                                   -- Dr. Seuss

I was at the PBWC Conference today and it was a day of positive affirmations for me - absolutely essential - the last few days had been intense due to quarter end work.  Got to hear some inspiring speakers, spend time with friends (made new friends) and meet some larger than life personalities.

I made it home in time to pick K2 from his extended daycare and he was in a buoyant mood and  as usual we started talking.

K2: Ma - I think I have a 3 on Social Sciences (side note - his weak subject and a 3 means he is doing great!)
Working Mom : Great! How do you know?
K2: Ms. N showed me the progress report. BTW, Something happened today. 
Working Mom (slight heart rate going up) : Ummm...what?
K2:  There is a Cooking Club happening tomorrow and they are baking pies. None of my friends wanted to go (read : boys!). I told the teacher I wanted to go and she asked me what kind of pie I wanted to bake and I said Apple. Guess, what C and S changed their minds and want to bake pies too! 

I was ecstatic with this conversation for two reasons - (a) my son is learning to appreciate the priceless art that is cooking and not relegating it to "girl" territory...so I am getting thro' to him (b) "Being You" is a concept he is embracing with open arms...even when he has to do it alone

So when the monkey asked me for Quesadilla  (yet again!) -- I of course had to say Yes!  But my Quesadillas are actually GREAT for him...and he says they are the best tasting ones he has ever had (more power to me!)

Here's how I made it  (literally took me 15 minutes!) if you want to try them at home. I confess to eating them myself and feeling great about it -- the nutritional profile is amazing and the taste is to die for !!!

1. Trader Joe's Whole Grain Flour Tortillas with Flax Seeds (really great ingredients with 5 gm of Fiber and 100% Whole Grain)
2. Cheese of Choice was a variety of Organic Cheeses from Horizon
3. Veggie Mix ( I dumped a can of Whole Foods Black beans, chopped onions (about 1/4), chopped cilantro (to taste), grated beets (1 medium sized) with salt, cumin powder and microwaved for 3 minutes. Mix and Taste and adjust the seasoning as needed.
4. Heat a flat skillet - I added  a touch of Olive Oil and cooked one side of the tortilla, flipped and then added the veggies and cheeses to the cooked side. Fold and let the cheese melting magic happen.

So to K2 and his friends I say in the words of Dr.Seuss - So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.

P.S - Tomorrow marks the 2nd Anniversary of my Bapa being gone - he is loved and remembered.