Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Tentative Parenting : To Fail is the first step to success

“It’s failure that gives you the proper perspective on success.”                                                                                   Ellen DeGeneres

K2 : Ma, so remember the class representative thing - I wasn't selected
Working Mom : So who was selected K2?
K2 : R and M...they are more popular. Maybe I shouldn't participate again
Working Mom : All that matters K2 is that you gave it your BEST shot not whether you won or lost. 

There’s an old Chinese saying, “Failure is the mother of success.” You don’t have to look far in this culture to find celebrated examples of this very notion: Einstein is rumored to have flunked math for years; Steve Jobs was fired from the company he started, only to return a few years later and take Apple to new heights; Walt Disney himself was fired early in his career by a newspaper editor who told him that he “had no imagination and no good ideas.”Resilience is actually built through children coping with occasional bumps, not by only experiencing perfectly smooth rides as they travel through childhood. (Source : Huffington Post. Read more here )
Given my background in Psychology -  I know that the parents of the current generation are running ourselves ragged in a herculean effort to do right by our kids—yet the reality is I hear about grown-up versions of my son (and your child) sitting in a school counselor's office saying they feel empty, confused, anxious and not so good about life in general. Is it true that when we  parents are too attuned - we molly coddle our kids into these needy soft patsies...GOD FORBID!
I recorded my son's practice speech for Class Representative - he was sincere and wonderful, Above all I really value the 3 things he talked about : Creativity, Hard Work and Collaboration. I did tell him this - K2 -  focus on those three things you promised to bring to the table and I promise you they will hold you good stead for a long time to come.
Notes for my son and self : Falling down or disappointment is a regular aspect of everyone's life and I am very clear that I don't want to cushion K2 and shield him...he is learning to roll with the punches and bounce back from failure... Early experiences with failure will help him  make tough decisions as he grows older and ultimately guide him to success.
How is your week playing out?