Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Reluctant Yogi

I wonder if Life was always designed this complex or whether it is us human beings who wheel and deal it into this maze of uncertainties, deadlines, complications and insecurities…when I hear my grandmother’s rendition of a life in the not so distant past – of open green fields, unhurried pace, food cooked fresh…most of the ingredients from the fields or the vegetable patch in the backyard…success not measured by your job title or the square footage of your house…I feel a pang of envy for not having experienced that life.

Life has treated me gently…kept me in the lap of comforts. Yet, to reach here hasn’t been an easy trek…long work days, single minded focus on career and a deluge of unmindful eating was what got me those high flying jobs. Somewhere along the lines, my conscience, my conscientious husband and an out-of-whack annual medical report (high cholesterol, borderline overweight) pointed me in the direction of Yoga. My journey with Yoga has been gradual…from walking into the class with arrogance (how hard can it be…I am an Indian and Yoga was born in India…hence I will be awesome at it)…to humility (when I wasn’t able to bend forward or do the simplest of asana)…to sheer love for this exercise that gave me a new way of life.

Now six years later…I still struggle for balance – with constant deadlines at work, an extremely demanding 3 year old and an increasingly long to-do List…I feel like a trapeze artist who is waiting for the big fall. Yoga in the past 6 months has been just that …a “thing of the past”. I make excuses to skip my Yoga sessions and then have this lingering guilt…I want this cycle of procrastination and guilt to stop…and so this reluctant Yogi dons her armor (old track pants and tees) and takes a ride into the unknown.

As I stretch proudly into Warrior…my body reminds me to “stand strong like the warrior and be focused on the goal”…as I kick into a shoulder stand ”…my body reminds me it is alright to give up on control and depend on mother nature’s gravity laws…and as I sit straight in “Full Lotus”…my body reminds me to offer a thankful prayer for existing. As my father aptly says – Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery but Today is a Gift…so unwrap it and live it to the Fullest!!!

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