Monday, November 14, 2011

It's a man's world...



Talking of addictions...apart from the gym and grocery store I have been addicted to the "good ol' telly" and for the past month or so have been watching "Prime Suspect" (1-7) with Helen Mirren. I was hooked...K1 lost interest somewhere around Episode 2 and to be fair to him, the storyline was slow moving, procedural and focused on the struggles of the female protagonist against the misogyny and sexism of her male colleagues during the investigative process. I watched "The Final Act" and as it ended there was a sadness that I won't have any more episodes to look forward to and a resentment at how it all ends for Jane... who was in most circumstances a police officer first and a woman second - leaving us an impression of a woman dependant on alcohol, who was losing her identity (she was retiring from the job that consumed her life)...broken, lonely, lost....and trying to survive. I try to tell myself things have changed and there has been a lot more progress now since the 20 years back that they first conceived the idea of "Prime Suspect"...but then has it really?
 Last week I was reading  an eye-opening report "Stemming the Tide" by professors at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee - the study focused on women in Engineering (but I would put forward that this would broadly apply to  roles in technology companies/start-ups in the Silicon Valley). They found that just one in four women who had left the field reported doing so to spend more time with family. One third left "because they did not like the workplace climate, their boss or the culture," while almost half departed due to "working conditions, too much travel, lack of advancement or low salary"....Cultural Stereotypes have women branded as "nice and compassionate" and men as "aggressive and competitive" and if a woman exhibited the latter traits - the behavior is considered inappropriate and presumptuous (Note: I didn't say this the Dept. of Sociology at North Western makes this claim).

Reality is I have never really thought about it being a man's world and have always believed that you focus on the tasks at hand and delivering results and then demand expect the appropriate rewards. I have been exposed to situations where my belief system has been shaken and questioned BUT then again I have been in multiple situation where I have discovered that actions do get rewarded...however for the most part I think what is key is the following : a woman needs to balance her personal goals  with her professional goals and prioritize the must- haves for success. I know that I want to get home  to a kindergartner and I choose to cook dinner for him every night vs. do take-outs. Yes, that means more chores (cooking, grocery, clean-up) but it also gives me a peace of mind and satisfaction that I am making healthy choices for my family. It also makes me more efficient at work because I focus on getting the task at hand completed vs. taking coffee breaks, lunch breaks, walk breaks (all of these principles fly out of the window if there are no tasks on hand :-) )

 Balance in my mind is not a resting place. It requires flexibility, adaptability, strategy, intuition, moving quickly and yet keeping still. Perhaps this balancing act is the ultimate art of the feminine, reflective of our daily quest to juggle family, career and self. So yes, I  understand it is a Man's World  but I choose to play work in it on my own terms. There might come a time in my life when I question my decisions and reprioritize but for now...life goes on...

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