Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Tentative Parenting : The Other End of the Leash

It is close to 1.00 AM...I should be sleeping...I really should...however, staring at market statistics and reports on some things unfamiliar has been exhilarating and at the same time exhausting. Yesterday, was a holiday - K2  had ski break and yet we had signed him up for camp at school, so I got time to catch up on other parenting duties. You see -- I mostly write about the child I gave birth to 5 years back, most of the time forgetting the child (not human) that I had adopted at 2 months,12+ years back...this black, cuddly puppy who grew into the sweetest,possessive loving, precocious precious dog....J. In fact K1 in a particularly contentious mood is known to comment : All I got out of this marriage is the damn dog, which I have to walk and feed and take care of ( Yeah Right! But I gotta give it to him, that I slowly transitioned to bystander and K1 into the primary caregiver for J when K2 was born...)
Do I feel guilty about it? Yes, sometimes!
Can I live with it? Absolutely!
I won't make excuses, but life is kinda sorta full for me right now: a full time job, a full time toddler, add to it the incessant 101 commute( 2 hours if you please!)  and countless errands that life throws my way...
Take my day Sunday :  I wake up hazy due to the multiple cold/cough reducing medications I am on, not feeling particularly my best (add to it a toddler who insists on sleeping on my back = sore back), a sick dog who is crapping n number of times in the ain't looking all that bright. J is getting old....90% deaf, 40% blind, I see the effort it takes him to go about his daily routine and sometimes the thought crosses my mind...when will it be the time to call it quits....and then I call myself all sort of mean names and deflect the noises in my head
Monday : I spent half the day on the computer working, 2 hours in the vet taking J through a battery of tests (blood, urine and ahem! everything else) can't imagine how stupid I looked (and felt) with a test tube stuck behind J's behind in the parking lot at the hospital...I just pretended the world didn't exist !!!

Anyway yesterday, while I was going through this mental boxing match, I read a beautiful poem by poet unknown that grabbed my heart and held on to it :
Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. 
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. 
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. 
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. 
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. 
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. 
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.... 

The good news is J is alright...he is begging for meds (his vitamins, his antibiotics, heck even the LIV 52 that I started to give him to strengthen his liver) like they are treats...he is enjoying his long walks without laying down on the ground and groaning like something hurts real bad...he has some minor issues (apart from the biggie : Old Age) and we are working through those...

Sorry this blog hasn't been about food this post - I haven't thought of food much this week...yesterday was  Maha Shivaratri and I fasted much the same like last year...made Payesh which was gobbled up by both the K's. It feels like it should be weekend have you been this past week?

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