Saturday, October 12, 2013

Seven things I won't regret doing as a mother

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." ---Richard Bach 

For me to not blog almost a month feels weird. The last couple weeks have had their highs and lows and I won't say I have been so crazy busy that I couldn't blog. However when I was 20, a very wise person once gave me a book with a note in it (I still have the book A)...the note read - If it doesn't come naturally leave that's what I did I left it. 
Last week, I was reading an article on Huffington Post  "20 things I won't regret doing with my kids" and it inspired me to come up with my own list. I am not as verbose as Rachel and I love the number 7, so here goes -
  1. Saying "No" when it's easier to say "Yes" - K1 is a softie, K2 can wrangle just about anything from him - new pokeman cards, lego toys, more ipad time...K1 just hates playing hardball with K2 and is putty in his hands. The result is I always sound like the "NaySayer" hear me saying No! more than Yes! ( and K2 is persistent - he will ask me the same thing 20 times and still get a No)
  2. Teaching him to respect people and  and express gratitude - K2 will not learn how to say his "please" or "thank you" if I don't show him how. I try to teach him through example...a small thing we do is thank the school road crossing guard every time she helps us cross the road (we look Annie in the eye and say Thank You Annie!). He sees me stop the car in grocery stores and let people cross the road vs. act impatient...of course there are some times when he sees me irately cussing some senseless driver (but that is a rare occurrence and I never claimed I was a saint ;-) )...but more importantly he sees me showing people respect, courtesy and gratitude.
  3. Letting him cook with me - This one is hard. It started off when he was 2 and half years old, where he sat on my kitchen counter and watched me cook his food. I questioned my sanity  a number of times especially when he broke one of the eggs on my pristine floor and I spent the next 15 minutes on my hands and knees cleaning and sanitizing. However, I do believe that in the next  2-3 years I will teach him to make himself a snack, maybe even breakfast...I am teaching him a life skill, one that will hold him good in years to come.
  4. Singing him the same bedtime song for the past 6 years - sleep krishu sleep, mama loves you sleep, daddy loves you sleep, bapa loves you sleep, aai loves you sleep, baba loves you sleep, jinx loves you sleep....its not rocket science, the need in us to be loved is over-riding and to know that we are loved brings forth an onslaught of serotonin...which lulls us to sleep and builds our sense of self-worth, self-esteem, confidence.
  5. Teaching him Yoga and Bollywood Dancing - the subliminal message I am giving him is moving is fun, moving is good for you. So we belt out Shakira or Chamak Chalo (what you have issues with my to the hand!) and do uncoordinated dancing or drop down to a dog or simply try to chill in butterfly. He sees me go to the gym consistently for Yoga and Zumba and the lesson he is learning is - Exercise and Movement is good for you.
  6. Saying I am sorry - I am a little short on my patience and somedays I am more of a "bitch" there I said it than other days. I know somedays I just lose it when I should have held it together and K2 is thoroughly confused with my outburst...and for those days I am not embarrassed to just hold him close and say - I am really sorry K2. I had a really hard day and I am sorry that I took it out on you. He doesn't let ego come in the way and most days just gives me a hug and says its OK.  And he is learning an important lesson - sometimes you make a mistake, acknowledge it and move on. 
  7. Letting him become a big boy - he has an opinion on everything nowadays - color of his clothes, the type of shoes he wants to wear, the types of foods he wants to eat, the games he wants to play, ....and sometimes that rush of fear as I watch him evolve and grow is overwhelming...the important thing for me to remember is he is his own person and there are decisions I need to let him make (hard lesson for me especially because till the ripe age of 20 I was told what to wear, eat and do with my life...but you live and learn and sometimes you learn to do something that is radically different from how your parents raised you). 

A lot of these learnings have been bittersweet and it is a journey for me as much as it is a journey for him. At the end of the day I do believe that our kids don't remember what we taught them but they remember what we were...
How is your weekend treating you? K1 is off to an Inner Engineering course while K2 and I will go  out catch a movie  and grab a bite to eat.


  1. liked it a lot mamuni nani......there is something very sweet about this entire blog.....

  2. Thanks so much Chandan! Ma is sick and in the hospital, not much I am able to do about it sitting here but hoping she will get better soon. Love to you, Jhumri, Bau, Manu Mamu and Minu Mie :)