Redefining Boundaries…

My legs hurt, as do my arms and my so-called nonexistent core…yet there is a sense of satisfaction. Five days of bloody hard yoga (stretching myself to the very edge, bending into a pretzel, holding the warrior while ignoring the burning thighs…). But what did stay from the practice is I am rewriting my own boundaries – while juggling work, taking care of a demanding toddler and cooking healthy meals for my family, I have given up on the constant procrastination that I can’t exercise because there is no time to making the time…and what I have found on this journey is a vibrant enthusiasm for life, a lot more energy and happiness.
I am still that person who tries to live with little – frugal to the point where K1 questions my sanity. I am learning to live on little not because I have to but because I want to...from shopping at the Farmer’s Market for seasonal vegetables and fruits to buying my organics on sale to cooking my meals from scratch. Here is an example which makes my case – I asked my son what he wanted to eat for dinner on Monday evening – he said Mac and cheese mommy…now the nutritionist in me wouldn’t just quickly make a quick cook Mac and cheese for my son …so out comes Annie’s Organic Mac and Cheese. I sautéed about equal amounts of vegetable to pasta in lemon infused olive oil and K2 got a semi-gourmet Mac and Cheese ala vegetable bake. I of course had left over Mac and cheese the next day. So when I asked K2 what he wanted for dinner he said Eggs – So was born the idea of Mac Frittata and lo and behold – two wonderfully nutritious and healthy meals for K2 ( did I mention the pasta was whole grain)…for visual stimuli please check the pictures taken with my E72.

I show my roots every time I quote Freud, Maslow or Herzberg BUT Herzberg with his 2-factor theory makes my point for me – there are 2 kinds of factors that motivate/demotivate people – Hygiene Factors (which in my case are basic things like a clean house, an organized closet/pantry/refrigerator, a diminishing to-do list, a well fed and happy family for Personal Needs and my work needs are not very different – good interpersonal working relations, job security, self worth, the list goes on…). However, in the past couple years I have noticed that money is not as big deal as it used to be about a decade ago…nor is it branded clothes, cars, fancy house/appliances (ok here I do have to confess that I have been lusting after a Le Creuset Dutch Pan for about 3 months and my self restraint will crumble and I will probably end up buying it…). In terms of the Motivators which is the other set of important factors in life – I am looking for in my personal life Health, Contentment, Happiness and constant learning…big words I know, but every day I strive to learn, change the little habits that I can change and grow…I won’t say it is easy and I won’t say I succeed every day but I try. In my work life I want to have an impact, I want to help change the way people perceive things and I want to learn and be liked and respected…(I never did say I was self-actualized). Every day of my life is a day I adapt, grow and constantly redefine boundaries…ask me a year back and I would have never been able to say that a Mac & Cheese can morph into a Frittata…but today I know different.

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty eventful. A wonderful dinner on Friday at a fancy Californian French Restaurant (whatever that means) with a 4-course meal of Crab Cakes, Caesar Salad, Grilled King Salmon on a bed of Greek Salad ending on a sweet note of Chocolate Ganache (accompanied by a blackberry mohito). Saturday saw us at a picnic in the zoo with close friends followed by a family style Italian dinner with another set of close friends, celebrating K1’s B’day (I won’t tell you how old he is). Sunday saw me take a trek to the Farmer’s Market – I got from my vegetable guy – Habenaros (a pound), Cherry Tomatoes, Persian Cucumbers, Broccoli, Cauliflower and sweet corn; From the fruit stand – Black and Red Grapes, Juicy White Peaches; from the Egg Ranch – Jumbo Organic Brown Eggs and Quail Eggs (the little guy wanted those) and from Beckmann’s Bakery - Lemon and Currant Scones and Shortbread Cake (tastes divine with fresh berries) – Life is good. Yes, there have been a couple hiccups along the way – what with K2 getting a fever on Monday…but we will survive.
How have you been redefining your boundaries…?

Of Competitive Advantage and Fish Cakes...

For some reason the title music of Monk is playing in my mind “It’s a jungle out there”. As a fresh starry eyed graduate straight out of B-School eons back all I wanted was to join the “Big 5”…at that point it was a set of consulting companies that most graduating B-School students wanted to get into. With razor sharp focus on my goal and lots of luck I did end up getting into the company of my dreams…years later and a couple career changes later, as I contemplate the industries that I have worked in – the reality is there is always a Big 3/5 in every industry. It is the living nightmare of those companies (especially the market leader) to stay ahead and maintain their competitive position. The reality is that the “Challengers” have not much to lose and are constantly testing boundaries and strategies – fearless, hungry, disrupting existing business models…biting away slowly into market share by showing the market a new way of doing things.
I believe very strongly that maintaining “Competitive Advantage” in a dynamic market like ours is a tough deal and at times like this, what really marks a company different is what are the steps that it is taking to maintain market share, mind share, agility and innovation. I think that a company needs to take a holistic approach to market leadership -it begins with Organizational Agility and ends with product execution (and everything else in between). I always use the analogy of an Organization as a human being – both are very similar. What is necessary for both their progress and well being are five seemingly simple things –

1. Health – could mean financial, operational, physical


2. Instinct – How well does your “flight or fight” gut instinct work…very essential for survival? For an Organization, that killer instinct filters “Top Down”.
   a. Can your management team make hard decisions (For eg. eliminating a Business Unit if the ROI or potential is not realized).
   b. Can they wean out the real technologies from the fads and the hype…or do they have a team of professionals that doesn’t feed them hype but moves them forward in this competitive game
   c. Are they only about grandiose vision and planning or is the focus more on execution. A thousand start ups have great ideas but the ones that make it also have flawless execution


3. Social Networks – Can the Organization play nice with other companies to create something of value and unique. Just like we humans cannot exist in a bubble and need social relationships for our existence…such is the case with Organizations today – the need for building their ecosystems


4. Kaizen – It is very easy for us to become complacent in our own achievements – I am an executive at this company or I am a market leader in this segment. Organizations and Individuals do not keep an eye on the ball and end up losing their perspective on where the market is…the reality is that “Continuous Improvement” is key. Understanding that success is transitional and what is key is constant betterment is critical. For us individuals – I am not proposing a constant discontent with the state of existence. Take my case – I am happy where I am career wise and personal life wise (in fact I would go as far as use the word content – yeah I am making myself sound like a heifer). However, every day brings to my life both personal and professional learnings and truth be told I am the sum of all my experiences – stretching, learning, growing.


5. Humility – It is so easy to get stuck in past glory and wallow in false ego – I am indispensable or I am a market leader. Get over it – Every stage for the individual or Organization is about a fresh start – No one really cares about what you have already achieved…it is about what you are about to achieve.

To remain relavent and not become obsolete, an organization or an individual will need to achieve a delicate balance – it is not all about action and no reaction, it is not about all execution and no strategy, it is not done in isolation and has elements cooperation and relationships --- but it is about the five elements discussed - it is a jungle out there and only the fittest can survive.

On a personal front, I learnt in the past couple months that Fish is a healthy option for growing toddlers. I buy sustainable fish from my Organic Vendors. The fish I cooked for K2 today is a crispy Almond Crusted Sole Fish Cake which I pan fried in EVOO…K2 ate two of the fish cakes without any complaints...Life is good.

Life in Perspective...

"I have become my own version of an optimist. If I can't make it through one door, I'll go through another door - or I'll make a door. Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present."

This was a quote from Tagore and I try to live life with this as a guiding principle and the truth has been that this has generally held true through most of my life. There are times when the logic just isn’t there, rationality has to take a back seat and emotions seems to govern those moments…for me those moments used to be few and far between but lately there seems to be an extra deluge of emotional vs. rational…yesterday while I was putting K2 to sleep…he said “Mommy Song” and I sang to him my favorite song from the movie Anari – Kisi Ke Muskurahaton Pe Ho Misar…he fell asleep in no time but I was left with the sentiments of that song –

Be someone's smile,
Take the pain away from someone,
Be there for someone with love in your heart,
This is what is called living.Based on the content of my pocket, I am a beggar,
But I am rich if you look at the content of my heart.
If I am gone tomorrow,
You will remember me in your tears,
The flower will tell the buds my stories – This is what I call living….

Today I watched this Bengali movie “Anuranan”.. Anuranan stands for resonance and yes Bengali is like a 5th language to me…I grew up in the South so my 1st language is English, 2nd Hindi, 3rd Tamil, 4th Oriya…so there were parts where I had to replay the dialogues to get the subtle nuances yet the movie left me strangely dissatisfied – not resonating a clear message…the actors were superb, yet there was something missing. However, it made me long for Calcutta…the graceful old city – with its maniac taxi drivers, the stately Victoria Memorial, the sprawling Howrah bridge, the buzzing Ballygunge market where I went to satiate my soul on second hand books and my stomach on kathi rolls; I missed watching the beautiful Bengali women in their beautiful saris and large bindis and the Babus in their pristine white Kurtas and Dhotis (I was an outsider getting a brief glimpse into someone else’s life). I missed the trips to the guy selling Mishti Doi near our house in Ballygunge, making the driver stop the car at an intersection for my phuchkas…the long trips to Tangda for the best Indian Chinese food ever…but most of all I miss that culture which was accepting…refined….educating.

This has been a week of relaxation and joy for me. Taking pleasure in the simple things – Eating Poori & Choley at the Chaat Place, an impromptu picnic with the boys, Roasting Fresh Corn, watching the beautiful fireworks in the Bay Area night sky, watching the awe on my son’s face as we took him through the car wash for the first time, his joy watching Toy Story 3 (his first movie in the theatres)…I couldn’t agree with Tagore more – Life remains when hope and joy remains…this is what I call living.

Weekend and a cup of Mugicha

Random Question - Have you ever wondered what $30 can buy you? Here is a sneak peak at one of my $30 spends this week, I dare say well-spent….

Groceries $24
(a) 8 bottles of Perrier (Pink Grapefruit)
(b) 1 500 ml Seville Olive Oil
(c) 1 Stainless Steel Water Bottle with flip top (For K2)
(d) 2 Ian’s Organic Go-Bars (Apple Pie)
(e) 2 Godiva – Milk Chocolate Pearls with Cafe Latte
(f) 1 Pringles Mini – Sour Cream and Onions
(g) 2 Pringles Select – Bold South Western
(h) 1 Nescafe Clasico Instant Coffee
(i) 1 Casbah Organic Couscous Pilaf
(j) 1 Sonoma Soap Company – Lavender Reserve Hand Soap
(k) 1 Nature's Gate Sun Block Sunscreen Lotion, Tropical Scent, SPF 30

Farmer’s Market $4
2 Boxes 7 Oz Shelled Walnuts

Restaurant $2
1 Piping Hot Cheese and Loroco Pupusa

Summary : I am a careful shopper who tries to go Organic and Natural but don’t believe you have to pay an arm and a leg for it.

Friday was a very relaxed day…we ordered Greek Take-Out of healthy chicken and lamb Gyros and greasy but yummy French fries. A trip to Whole Foods – some fresh produce, an amazing deal on Santa Cruz Lemonades, some Habenaro Cheese, some beer and 3 bags of Terra Chips later….we trooped over to the bakery section where the super excited K2 got to pick out a cookie of his choice (a blue star shaped sugar cookie)…we went home and relaxed to some TV. Saturday I gave K1, some down time and took K2 to the library for a puppet show about the “Princess Mermaid”…it was lovely. We hung out in the library for a while and then went over to an Asian Grocery Store for a couple bento boxes for the lil’ guy. We picked up a couple boxes and my eyes fell on this barley tea …Mugicha …I picked up a bag. I also picked up a bag of instant cereal with 36 black grains for the little guy. He ate a bowl of the cereal for lunch yesterday and dinner tonight (along with a Mooli Parathas).…we spent a fun Saturday evening with N1, N2 and B over for dinner…A1, R1, A2 & R2 came over later in the night and K2 and A2 had a lot of fun playing together (they go to pre-school together).

Father’s day was relaxed – a relaxed lunch at Whispers Café ( I had my Huevos Rancheros, K1 had a typical American breakfast (eggs, links & pancakes) and K2 went French with a sweet crepe with bananas, strawberries & Nutella)…we did our trip to the Farmer’s Market (for a change both K1 and K2 were with me)…we got red onions, green garlic, a cauliflower head, blackberries, strawberries and some sweet potatoes.K1 and I went for the evening Yoga class and now after a relaxed dinner with the “Next Food Network Star”, I think these weekend warriors are ready to conquer this week…

How was your weekend?

A Day in my Life

We are settling down to the maxim “The only thing that is constant is change”…the past month has been hectic to say the least. K2 has been in school fulltime and from constant lunch box planning, to taking K2 multiple times to the pediatrician (ear infection, throat infection, antibiotic course, allergies to antibiotics…don’t ask and I won’t tell more) …to keeping my family fed, to grocery shopping, to fixing errant tires on my Prius, to attending 5.00 AM calls, cranking out complex spreadsheets and 4 hour long work meetings in the morning…I wish I was Jeannie (remember the old show) and get things accomplished with a blink of the eye. Yet, I wouldn’t trade my chaos for peace and quiet…as with this chaos comes an added comfort that “Life Happens”…when I get thrown curve balls; I am learning to deal with them.

Blogging got lost somewhere along the way. Yesterday, I was thinking where the hours went and realized that some of them did go in doing things that were important to me -we try and eat dinner together every day, occasional walks down the beautiful trails by the house, library visits, K2 and I going to the farmer’s market together, a couple hours of reading or TV snatched in between the laundry and the meeting marathons…and those are the things that have helped me keep a positive perspective.

K1 took K2 to Oakland Zoo for 4 long hours on Saturday, hours that I got to myself doing nothing. I turned off the ringer on the home phone, turned on the fan and took a 2 hour nap, after which I had a date for an hour with a book by Nani Power “Ginger & Ganesh” and then I sat and watched a re-run of “Medium” and ate half a pint of ice cream (ok fat free sorbet…if we are checking)… it was a satisfying experience. We went and pigged on Chaat on Saturday evening (Pav Bhaji, Bhel Puri, Sev Puri) and then came back home at 9.30 PM and went out for a 40 minute walk…On Sunday, K1 and I went for a Yoga class together, between the excruciating Warrior Poses and the complex Wheels, I rediscovered the fact that I missed the regularity of the body challenging Yoga classes that had been a part of my routine.
I took K2 to the library where he picked up Jurassic Park and he loves the “scary dinosaur movie” and yes I have been a lax parent ignoring the PG warning on the cover…I did watch the movie with him and close his eyes at the appropriate times. K2 and I also went to the Farmer’s Market – Radishes, Tomatoes, Squash, Red Onions, Baby Potatoes, Asparagus, Broccoli, Peach, Plums and Oranges were among the produce we picked up. We also got a dozen Organic brown Eggs from Olivera Egg Ranch (K2 wanted the purple Barney Eggs but I convinced him Salted Duck Eggs weren’t my thing :)). Our last stop in the Farmer’s Market was Beckmann’s … where we picked up Asiago Cheese and Jalapeno Sourdough Loaf, Asiago Cheese Foccacia , Double Chocolate Cookies, Coconut and Almond Cookies and Pumpkin Bread. Dinner on Sunday night was Pav Bhaji (Bell Peppers, Green Beans, Potatoes, Carrots, Green Peas and Cauliflower), the above mentioned Jalapeno Bread and Jicama Salad washed down with Perrier.

Yes, Monday was back to the jungles again with the routine, yet there is an anticipation that I am getting a handle on doing this with K1 and K2. There is a hope that K2 will build up his immunity and not fall sick as often and the net of it is – there is no one else I would rather be…thinking of scenarios and situations that are not to be…I like my life exactly the way it is and am grateful for being given the option to experience it…So a day in my life – ain’t that rough a deal folks !!!
And what do you know, by the time I blog about last weekend…its already time for the next weekend…Hello Friday Night…here I come!

P.S - All the pictures are pictures of my neighborhood, captured with my trusty E72 and mailed to self via MFE (mail for exchange). Do you see the lone heron (eastern great egret) in one of the pictures waiting patiently for supper.
P.P.S - Did you know that a Heron in mythology teaches humans the value of watching and waiting in order to get what you need. In other words, heron teaches us the value of patience. It is not a passive patience, but an active one. We wait in our lives to grab opportunity when it arises, it is not a passive patience waiting for life to happen to us...interesting perspective ain't it.

P.P.P.S - Ovi Mail – 10 million and counting - http://bit.ly/9MWmtt

A pot full of Barley and Taking a stand

The past 2 weeks have pretty much whizzed past non-stop. Workwise things were busy. I spent a week in Finland and the weather was cold and sort of waiting to welcome summer...no trips to the farmer's market for 2 weeks (which is a pretty unusual happening for me)...I did go down to the Farmer's Market today my picks - half a pound of fresh walnuts, organic brown eggs, peaches, strawberries, Jicama, Brocolli Crowns, Carrots and Mushrooms. Last weekend was also pretty hectic. I got back on Friday...realized that there was no milk in the house...so picked up milk and a zhu zhu hamster for K2. We spent the evening eating Indian take-out and me catching up on some down time with K2. Saturday saw us at a Kiddies Concert in the morning that K2 seemed to enjoy...dinner was at Yan Can Cook = Sizzling Sichuan Shrimp, Kung Pao Chicken and General Tsao's Chicken (so meats galore)...On Sunday we went down to L's son's 5th B'day. It was wonderful seeing my college friend (even weirder seeing her sister G after 17 years...I don't think she recognized me...). L had organized a fun animal show which the kids absolutely loved. K2 got to touch an Albino python (see picture) and a lazy tortoise...he was so excited.

The week saw us get some news on the office logistics (our new offices will be in Sunnyvale). K1 and I get to carpool again...he is not too excited about carpooling with me but I am glad to have a carpool partner. I met a "good friend" for lunch one day in the week. A question she asked me has kept playing in my mind most of the week - Are you not uncomfortable with conflict?

I think we human beings have conditioned ourselves to play nice and avoid conflict. I think when the situation warrants it I am usually very even keeled and amenable. Yet one thing I learnt pretty early in life was that when it comes to Ethics there are no shades of grey...I have over years conditioned myself to not give people BS or I don't tolerate BS. Let me list the pros and cons of this approach -

Pros

1. I have been happy with my personal and professional choices as I have stuck by what I believed in
2. Long Term Peace of Mind
3. Confidence
4. Belief in one's own personal integrity (and that contributes to 3.)
5. Long-Term Happiness
6. Stable Blood Pressure :)

Cons

1. Conflict
2. Some Awkward moments
3. Perceived Political Harakiri (usually worked itself out and did not have a long term impact)

Yet, I think to sweep issues under the carpet and not address them is unhealthy to our self esteem and mental balance. We do not deem ourselves important enough to "treat ourselves right". So to my dear friend (you know who you are) - Take a stand! Yes it is uncomfortable, hard too...but in the long run it is the ONLY way forward.
My weekend was relaxed - I watched 2 wonderful Miss Marple movies - Murder is Easy and Why didn't they ask Evans? I have a 10 Disc Poirot collection to go through that I am super excited about. I cooked us a pot of barley today...truely a labor of love. I washed and soaked "long cook barley" in a pot of cold water. I put it in my multi-purpose fuzzy logic Rice Cooker for a quick cook (which takes an hour). I make enough to last through 3-4 breakfasts. How do I like to eat it?
Slightly warmed with warm Almond milk, toasted walnuts and almonds, date pieces, a dash of cinnamon and sweetened with agave nectar...it is really something else!
How was your weekend?

The Story of a Degchi....

It was a cold blustery sort of a day…a day when all you wanted to do was leave the heater on and curl up under the warm down comforter…wishing for a cup of garam chai laced with elaichi and adrak ( cardamom and ginger). Not typical of the sunny California mornings promised when you try to justify the abnormally high state and sales taxes for living here…this spring has been a rainy one. And I for one don’t like the rain too much…at least not all the time. I needed some comforting, so I reached for my wonderful “degchi”…what is a Degchi you ask me? Well a Degchi is one of those earthen/brass/copper pots not very deep but wide dishes used for cooking the most delicious foods …mine is made of anodized iron but is as reliable as the one my grandma had….and I can also broil with it in the oven …so perfect for those desserts, frittatas and curries which need to go into the oven.
Honestly I was in no mood for spicy food…I needed something sweet. I did have a gallon of Organic Whole Milk in the fridge….so with no thought in mind, I soaked a handful of basmati rice in water and let the gallon of milk simmer in the degchi…after about an hour on simmer, I roughly ground the rice with a mortar and pestle and put it into the milk along with a small spoon of ground elaichi powder (cardamom powder) and sugar to taste…I let it boil and then brought it down to simmer…it simmered for almost 4 more hours on the range…simmering down to 1/5th the quantity from before….the consistency almost one of rabri…thick, creamy…soul satisfying. I took a small bowlful and came back for seconds and thirds…honestly I had made this dish as a treat for K2 but I kept going back for more ( so did K1)…at the end of this endeavor, we had warm creamy wonderful “Kheer” which took us back to the festival days in India.
Speaking of K2, I wonder where he learnt his negotiation tactics from …from negotiating toys, candies, DVDs from the libraries….the little guy has it down pat…when all else fails he turns on the water taps…which works 100% of the time on Dad and 50% of the time on Mom. I have a few ground rules I operate under –

• I set clear boundaries and limits for K2 – For eg. He can sit on the counter and watch me cook and talk to me but he can never ever touch the cooking utensils or the range unless I am in sight and I let him. And he is usually very good about it


• I give him options – even for something as simple as dinner, I give K2 3 choices and let him pick what he wants to eat. Takes the negotiation element out of the mix, as I let him pick what he wants to eat and he feels sort of in control – and honestly I offer options that are easy for me to whip up -- his current favorite food is Egg Dosas


• I treat him like I would an Adult – K1 laughs at this tactic of mine…but honestly I think this 3 year old gets things better than K1 gives him credit for…I just wish he wasn’t a sponge for my wonderful word repository while driving --- he seemed to latch on to the S*** word very quickly. I am trying very hard to stop cursing and I think I am succeeding a little bit


• I am consistent with him – consistent eating and sleeping time…there are certain behaviors which get him praises and certain which get him time-outs. He doesn’t like me being unhappy with him and tells me constantly – Don’t worry Mommy (I have graduated to Mommy from Mama…don’t know how much I like that) I will be a good boy.


• I try to make it a win-win situation for both of us. At the end of the day, I feel crappy if K2 is sad…so I try to make it work. There are times when I have to say “Enough Already” and walk away…but he has taught me patience.

I think my lessons in negotiation learnt from this precious and precocious 3 year old will hold me good stead in “getting to yes” in my job.

What are your weekend plans? I just plan to chill at home. I will probably stock the fridge for K1 and K2 for the week as I am travelling this week to Europe on work. I made a spicy Corn Salad yesterday with Fresh Corn from the Farmer’s Market and Grilled Poblano Chilies. I also picked up a pound of Fresno Chilies that are destined to become “Chili Pickles”. The fridge is stocked with Apples, Strawberries, Mangoes and Grapefruit…so hopefully the boys will not starve. I am sure K1 does not stress out so much when he has to do his business trips….I am looking forward to being back home the next Weekend for Mother’s Day. Happy Mother's Day in Advance to all you wonderful Moms out there...