$550 Dimsum...anyone?

Some days are highs, some days forgettable and others unforgettable for all the wrong reasons...my family and friends know I am the "nervous driver"...I am usually 5 miles below speed limit, counting at the stop signs and also being sorta kinda lucky...no tickets or parking violations in 11+ years of driving in California. Yet every time I see a police car -- my heart starts pounding...no I mean it...really pounding -- I check the odometer, get extra-cautious...to the point now that K2 sees a cab and he is like - Mama, I think it is a cop car !!!  OK, so this is my long-winded way of justifying why I hate dislike driving into San Francisco. Anyway it was a strange feeling to go to the Indian Consulate for a visa to enter India...but procedures had to be followed and paperwork filled....once the work was done I had this hankering for Dimsum and given that China Town was but a mile away, I gave in to temptation and drove over to Grant...parked at a parking meter - paid up...noted that it said - street cleaning Monday and Wednesday...totally blanked out on the Towaway - 3.00 PM-7.00 PM....yep! you got it...when I came back with 5 bucks worth of dimsum, my Prius had been towed away :-(..breakdown below...lesson learnt...Priceless !!!

Then began the guilt trip, the frog in the throat and the mental whipping...K1 told me to chill and just go out to a yoga class or something...my yoga teacher (God Bless Him !!!)...was saying to the class - We have a tendency to beat ourselves...push ourselves...blame ourselves. Maybe once in a while we need to practise kindness...kindness to ourselves (ahimsa towards self).
So here is my "sort-of" funny story on the $550 Dimsum that I enjoyed...I would have much rather spent that money  here or here...but you roll with the dice.

Here is the Turkey K1 and K2 made for the Family Turkey Project this evening...my contribution (you guessed it!) is the bling...the glitter. How is your week shaping up?

It's a man's world...

Talking of addictions...apart from the gym and grocery store I have been addicted to the "good ol' telly" and for the past month or so have been watching "Prime Suspect" (1-7) with Helen Mirren. I was hooked...K1 lost interest somewhere around Episode 2 and to be fair to him, the storyline was slow moving, procedural and focused on the struggles of the female protagonist against the misogyny and sexism of her male colleagues during the investigative process. I watched "The Final Act" and as it ended there was a sadness that I won't have any more episodes to look forward to and a resentment at how it all ends for Jane... who was in most circumstances a police officer first and a woman second - leaving us an impression of a woman dependant on alcohol, who was losing her identity (she was retiring from the job that consumed her life)...broken, lonely, lost....and trying to survive. I try to tell myself things have changed and there has been a lot more progress now since the 20 years back that they first conceived the idea of "Prime Suspect"...but then has it really?
 Last week I was reading  an eye-opening report "Stemming the Tide" by professors at University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee - the study focused on women in Engineering (but I would put forward that this would broadly apply to  roles in technology companies/start-ups in the Silicon Valley). They found that just one in four women who had left the field reported doing so to spend more time with family. One third left "because they did not like the workplace climate, their boss or the culture," while almost half departed due to "working conditions, too much travel, lack of advancement or low salary"....Cultural Stereotypes have women branded as "nice and compassionate" and men as "aggressive and competitive" and if a woman exhibited the latter traits - the behavior is considered inappropriate and presumptuous (Note: I didn't say this the Dept. of Sociology at North Western makes this claim).

Reality is I have never really thought about it being a man's world and have always believed that you focus on the tasks at hand and delivering results and then demand expect the appropriate rewards. I have been exposed to situations where my belief system has been shaken and questioned BUT then again I have been in multiple situation where I have discovered that actions do get rewarded...however for the most part I think what is key is the following : a woman needs to balance her personal goals  with her professional goals and prioritize the must- haves for success. I know that I want to get home  to a kindergartner and I choose to cook dinner for him every night vs. do take-outs. Yes, that means more chores (cooking, grocery, clean-up) but it also gives me a peace of mind and satisfaction that I am making healthy choices for my family. It also makes me more efficient at work because I focus on getting the task at hand completed vs. taking coffee breaks, lunch breaks, walk breaks (all of these principles fly out of the window if there are no tasks on hand :-) )

 Balance in my mind is not a resting place. It requires flexibility, adaptability, strategy, intuition, moving quickly and yet keeping still. Perhaps this balancing act is the ultimate art of the feminine, reflective of our daily quest to juggle family, career and self. So yes, I  understand it is a Man's World  but I choose to play work in it on my own terms. There might come a time in my life when I question my decisions and reprioritize but for now...life goes on...

Easy Come, Easy Go...

As I was going through the warrior poses in the cold, semi-dark studio two days back my eyes were drawn to a sentence written on the wall - "Change begins with self-reflection"...I have been mindlessly driving myself to zumba, aerobics and cardio classes. This has been mainly because I feel like I have let myself fall into a rut (stuck to Yoga for 9 years and not much else).The reality is that it just felt like I was not there 100% in these new classes...the muscle pain was constant...and yet like a mindless zombie, day in and day out I kept going in for yet another hour of the torture which never did deliver...on Tuesday I gave in and went back to a vinyasa yoga class (after about a month)...it felt good...it felt like I had finally arrived...and I don't really feel so bad about letting go of  some of these gym routines, which  are oh! so! cool and in with the trends yet for me they just don't cut it...George Straits song plays so true here :

"We tried to work it out a hundred times,
Ninety nine it didn't work,
I think it is best that we put it all behind,
Before we wind up getting hurt,
No hard feelings darling, no regrets,
No tears and no broken hearts
Calling it quits, calling off all bets
It just wasn't in the cards"
Easy Come Girl, Easy Go...

My body is still complaining through the planks and my mind refuses the thought of letting my body go upside down...yet every time I sit quietly in the Lotus and reflect on "nothing"...I am glad that Yoga is with me for the long haul. I think Change is great but if we find something that makes us happy...we should hold on to it.

Today seems to be the day of self-reflection and confessions...another semi-dark side of my persona...I absolutely love walking mindlessly down the aisles of Trader Joes and Whole Foods --- checking out all the new things and buying strange stuff that I am clueless what to do with (yet)...like the bag of  Organic Sprouted Whole Wheat Flour, Barley Malt, Mango Butter, Amaranth...I am sure I will figure it out.  How has the end of fall been treating you...mother nature in our neck of the woods hasn't yet figured out whether to keep it warm or cold...today was a wonderful sunny day and I just couldn't resist taking this picture...

I hope you have fun weekend plans...my weekend is jampacked with birthdays, baby showers and a 10 pound pumpkin (more on that later :))..

Tentative Parenting : Clouds, Storms and Positive Discipline

I picked up three different editions  of "Positive Discipline" this week - (a) Positive Discipline for Pre-Schoolers (b) Positive Discipline for Working Parents and (c) A-Z of Positive Discipline. I don't know how successful I will be in reading and incorporating the principles of the book into my life but as I say to myself everyday  take"baby steps". K2 is mostly a bright, mentally exhausting engaging and precocious precious  little boy BUT even he has his off-days. His school has a reward system : every child starts the day with a sunshine, they can over time either get a rainbow (if they did something extraordinary) or a cloud (if they did something wrong) or a storm (something really wrong and the parent gets summoned)...K2 in 50 days of school has two rainbow and two clouds and multiple off-days. I love the fact that his teacher Mrs.B lets me know of the off-days (K2 not that much)...he does not want me talking to Mrs. B about him because he knows that he "loses" some privilege on the cloud/off-days days. So here is our conversation from yesterday:
Me: So why was yesterday an off-day K2
K2: Ma, I had my listening ears sleeping and so I didn't listen to Mrs. B
Me : You know that is bad right!
K2 : Yes, but my listening ears are all awake now with you Ma (notice the slight-a-bit brown nosing)
Me : Well, I guess then you can hear clearly that you lose TV  privilege today
K2 : What about the computer?
Me : No
K2: ipad?
Me: No
K2: Leapster
Me: No
K2 (in tears) : What can I do then?
Me: Eat your parathas and work on a puzzle and some drawing homework

 K2 eating dosas on the kitchen counter as his Ma makes them for him...one of his favorite foods is dosas.

More tears and negotiations later....K2 did exactly that. But I fear that my tough love might be psychologically impacting the brat...hence the need for positive reinforcement (the eternal Pavlovian dog)with a book like the above mentioned ...what journeys has parenting been taking you in?

There is an incessant cold filling my world...it is the precursor to winter and the chills and I would trade it in any day for the warm sun...I prefer the warmth and sunshine. Both K2 and I are prone to the winter sniffles, so I am trying to bolster the immunity system with a lot of warm foods (kapha alleviating foods) and chyvanprash for K2...we will see how successful I am with this. Anyway, while I was at the library picking up the parenting books, my eyes fell on another book "Sukham Ayu"and I was hooked. According to Ayurveda, Ayu or life is a synthesis of the body,senses, mind and soul. For there to be positive synergy, there needs to be balance. Balance is delicate and comes with moderation and the recognition of what food goes with one's system and what doesn't...For example - I absolutely adore spicy, heavy "goat curry" but don't have it often (think 2-3 times a year)...the reason being that my tongue rejoices at first taste while my body revolts...there is this heavy sense in the stomach followed by severe heartburn. Unfortunately, even though the head says no, there are times when I give into the temptation knowing the repercussions. The first recipe that I tried from this book was a "soopa" or a "soup"....I made the Vegetable and Lentil Soopa today and that will be our dinner with toasted multigrain bread.

 here is a picture of the soopa pre-blending....check out the beautiful orange hue from the pumpkin.

Ingredients:

1. 2 cups cut pumpkin ( Halloween remnants)
2. 1 cup Lauki/bottlegourd
3. 1 cup Cabbage
4. 1 cup Green Beans
5. 1/2 Cup of Mung Dal
6. 1/2 cup finely chopped Onions, 4 cloves of garlic
7. Ghee, Salt, Pepper 

Steps:

• Pressure Cook the first five items
• Now fry the onions and garlic in a tad bit of ghee
• Now take the veggies and the sauteed onions and garlic and blend in a blender ( I did it in my magic bullet)
• Add back to the saucepan and simmer for a minute or two. Add salt ( they recommend rock salt, all I had was sea salt) and pepper to taste. I added toasted cumin powder and cinnamon powder too ( this was not recommended in the book but I felt like it).
• Sprinkled Fresh Cilantro and enjoy with toasted multi grain bread.

Sending this recipe across to Vardhini  @ Vardhini's Kitchen for the Zesty Palettes Series : Halloween Fiesta and Srivalli of Cooking4allSeasons for the Soups and Salads Mela  and I promise there will be more recipes to come from this book.

The truth my friends is the words of a Al Stewart song that someone had once penned for me - "Nothing that's forced can ever be right, if it doesn't come naturally, leave it"...different context but the words still ring true...if the philosophy of Ayurveda and mostly vegetarian eating sound strange just leave it...

Tentative Parenting : Crushes and Mushes

Imagine my horror when an 8 year old tells me her 4 year old sister has a crush on my 5 year old boy...ONLY the 11 year old standing next to me saw the jaw drop, the look of utter panic...she didn't probably see the palpitations and heart "stops"...but she did give me an understanding smile. When did my little boy join a world where the girls in his class watch - Hannah Montana and talk about "girl friends et all"...Thankfully, my son is still at the stage of Diego and Caillou...he mostly ignores the comments and focuses on playing, drawing, crafts and puzzles but I know the external influences will soon impact his behavior and ideas. I won't be the mother who is the naysayer but I definitely won't say I am comfortable with this. We soon forgot about it to loud bollywood music and uncoordinated dancing (mother and son).

Today is Diwali -- yet it was a full school and work day - so we had to make do with short cuts. For food we made a wonderful "mush" called Khichidi to warm our souls and lighten our stomach. In India Diwali is all about sweets, puri and aloo, heavy dinners and lunches and we decided to go the opposite path....khichidi is like a "mush" a thick porridge like creamy consistency -- the simpler you keep it the better it tastes.

Detox Mush Khichidi
1/2 Cup Brown Rice
1/2 Cup  Moong Dal (slightly toasted)
1/2 Cup Fresh chopped veggies (carrots, beans)
1/2 Pack Pacific Foods -- Creamy Organic Butternut Squash Soup
Fresh Cilantro, 1 Half Lemon, Chili Oil (if you so please)

Heat Ghee in the pressure cooker. Add Hing (Asefotida) if you have it, when it sizzles add turmeric powder and grated fresh ginger. Then add the chopped veggies. Fry for a minute. Now add the brown rice and the moong dal --- fry it for a minute. Instead of water, I add the soup in lieu of water. I let the pressure cooker go 3 whistles....check salt and season if needed. Now squeeze in the lemon, sprinkle the cilantro and if you need an added kick add the chili oil (mine is from Trader Joes). Enjoy Mush Khichidi with a glass of spiced buttermilk....
p.s :- The Rangoli is made with sidewalk chalk and the diyas are environmental friendly tea lights.Happy Diwali !!!

Touchy Feely....

What do you get when you couple an overly zealous nutritionista with an equally health conscious freak...someone who is looking at every meal that she is feeding her family with "evaluative" eyes - it was when K2 looked at me...rolled his eyes...and sighed  like the drama king that he is ---Parathas...AGAIN ( let me clarify these are not regular parathas - they are made with equal proportion of whole wheat and millet (jowar) and are stuffed with grated, cooked and lightly spiced broccoli, carrots and sweet potatoes..teamed with a cup of yogurt and apple) that I realized that I needed to loosen the leash a little. An article "Food Trends Men Hate"on Yahoo brought home this point amply...if interested you can read the article here.
I have to admit to doing some of the things mentioned in the article (and then some more)...from plying reluctant K1 with Tofu (gullible K2 ate it thinking it was cheese, he still loves it...note to self - train them early) to bringing home beanitos instead of regular chips which K1 still refuses to touch....the list goes on and on. Anyway when I said I am loosening the leash...I really am (ahem! at least trying to...). When I was young my mother made a scrumptious snack called "Shakkarpara"...mostly during Diwali. Every Diwali, the house was cleaned out, the pandit ( the religious cook) was summoned and he cooked on a huge wok outside and he dished out amazing dishes like the Malpua ( a crispy fried pancake like dish) , Rabdi ( tastes like condensed milk only 1000 times better), Coconut Burfis, Gulab Jamuns, Sev....the list goes on.But I mostly looked forward to the Shakkarpara and Namakparra (nimki)...

I rolled up my sleeves and tried to recreate the magic of days past...when life was uncomplicated, carefree....there was no thought of nutrition or heath as we gorged ourselves on sweets, savory dishes, exotic meat dishes...of course, the way my mother made her Shakkarpara was this with Maida and with a sugar syrup which thickly coated the fried crisps. I made a few changes to the traditional and if I may say so, I was not only surprised but absolutely loved the recipe -- this one is a keeper.This recipe goes out to Radhika of Tickling Palates for the event : Diwali Special

Ingredients

• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/5 cup sugar (add Stevia if you want to avoid sugar, I used Turbinado Organic Brown Sugar)
• 1/2 cup milk
• 2 tbsp ghee ( I make mine at home from Organic Valley Butter)
• 2 pinches of finely ground cardamom powder
• a pinch of salt, a pinch of baking soda
• Saffola (Canola or any healthy oil for deep frying)

Sieve the whole wheat, they usually do this in India but I skip this step. I warm the milk slightly and add to the flour and start kneading...same with the sugar and the 2 tbsp of ghee. Once the dough is pliable I covered with a wet cloth and kept aside for an hour. Then I started rolling out the dough in circles (much like a paratha)...I used a regular knife and cut it into diamond shape (or sort of a diamond shape....work with me here). Finally deep fry the diamonds. Enjoy as is (that is how K2 enjoyed his...see above). I had mine with a hot cup of herbal tea -- Mighty Leaf (African Nectar).

I know a lot of my thoughts on nutrition and health are  based as much on gut instinct as learnt knowledge from books, blogs and the internet.Unlike most other folks I know I can't  dismiss the "touchy-feely" in my life.In the business world "touchy-feely" is taboo but more often than not that primal gut instinct aids us more than most other skills...human beings have a tendency to be "organizational icebergs"...a public face and a private face...I find that pretty tiresome...how can you de-personalize or compartmentalize12-14 hours of your work life. I can't...anyway there my friends I give you the excellent concept of "touchy-feely"...trust your gut, practise WYSIWYG and be true to yourself...then life will be sweet all the way...just like my awesome Shakkarparas.
p.s: k2 turned 5...another milestone, and more to come!!!

Feeling Blue...

Some random scribbles in the notebook on a random sort of a day at a random sort of time:

What do you do when you are feeling blue
Maybe whine, frown or mope,
Or do you sigh, grieve sulk and moan?
Maybe punch a pillow (someone) real hard? 

The sky is blue,
The water is a turquoise blue
My son's room is blue,
What's the color blue got to do with a foul mood?

If you were feeling red would you still be in bed
If you were feeling green would you need some codeine?
If your feeling yellow would you go to the clinic pronto,
Blue I think is -  for jumping in and having fun all day

The past 3 days have been quite miserable, intermittent rain showers, cold and a lack of enthusiasm to do much except listen to Carpenters ...hearing the news about Steve Jobs made it worse :

The world has lost someone who has truly changed the way we live : a visionary, a creative genius...

What do you do when Life throws you a curve ball - you try to catch it aka you try to maintain a semblance of normalcy...so for me that normalcy meant watching - Michael Madana Kamaraj, a hilarious tamil movie from 1990 - the dvd that I fortuitously found lying in a drawer that I was cleaning and who isn't ready for a good mindless laugh at a time like this...K2 is sitting and working on his homework and suddenly he looked up and said - Ma, I am hungry, can we eat something !!!

I rummaged in my overflowing freezer. I picked the Annie Chun - Chicken Cilantro Mini Wontons which I pan-fried and steamed and made a dip sauce with low sodium soy sauce, mirin, minced garlic and brown sugar. That is always a sure winner with him (he ate 8).
I also made "Muri-Mixture" -- something I hadn't had in ages but which I associated with good memories - I made it in less than a minute
 

1. Muri (Puffed Rice)
2. 2 drops Mustard Oil
3. Haldi Ram - Navarattan Mixture
4. Chopped Red Onions (in my fridge)
5. Thai Red Chilly ( minced - in my fridge)

Put it all in a bowl...mix and enjoy! K2 got a kid friendly version without chillies or red onions. If I was more inclined I would have added some cilantro leaves and some fresh chopped tomatoes. Sending my "Muri Mixture" over to Srivalli's event - Kid's Delight Party

I am almost done with my movie - K2 is done with his homework and I am not so "blue" anymore...yet there is a sense of poignancy...a sadness that won't go away today and I am ok with it remaining : RIP Steve. You sure rocked my son's world with the ipad2 !!!