Seven Habits of highly effective People...

I was but 20 years old when I was handed my first copy of Covey. A who had given me the book had written - "The whole point about reading such a book is, if it doesn't come naturally, leave it".Initially the book was heavy reading but over time, I fell hook, line and sinker for Covey's principles... I have been able to go back to this book time and again and learn something new every time...

What do the 7 Habits mean to me -

1)Being Proactive - Personal choice drives a lot of your decision making -- so instead of blaming circumstances take control and responsibility for your actions and decisions
2)Visualization - Always visualize a roadmap to how your life should be and more likely than not you will try and stick to that roadmap (set personal goals and try to acheive them)
3) Integrity and Execution - It's ok to take help and delegate but integrity is key in every transaction.
4) Mutual Benefit - An attitude whereby mutually beneficial solutions are sought that satisfy the needs of oneself as well as others...it is ok to be a little selfish, but it is good to be a little selfless
5) Mutual Understanding - giving out advice before having empathetically understood a person and their situation will likely result in that advice being rejected. Thoroughly listening to another person's concerns instead of reading out your own autobiography is purported to increase the chance of establishing a working communication...people have busy lives, they don't want to hear about you...they want to talk about themselves
6) Creative Cooperation - when synergy is pursued as a habit, the result of the teamwork will exceed the sum of what each of the members could have achieved on their own. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It is not about what I can acheive but rather about what the team can acheive...
7) Balanced Self-Renewal - engaging in carefully selected recreational activities. For me its Yoga, Cooking (eating) and spending time with K2.

It has been all but 2 decades of trying to internalize some of these principles into my day to day life...highly effective I am not...but I would like to think that I am on my path to getting there some day....Thanks Covey !!!

Nostalgia and a hot plate of pasta

Smells, Tastes and sometimes even textures give you the "warm & fuzzies" or the "shivers down the spine". I remember our trip to Kodaikanal every time I smell Eucalyptus...the foggy, drizzling weather and the warm, cheesy Pizza Margherita (Desi Ishtyle). Every time I see the cloth painting of the Old Man on my bedroom wall I remember the wonderful trip I took to Kalimpong with Ma and Pa. I have carried that painting with me for 14 years...there is something very gentle and wise about the old man...we had brought that painting from a ruddy faced Nepali woman. I still remember her sitting inside her tent, sipping a steaming, thick glass of chai. On rare occasions I fry Chilly Pakoras ,I remember our trip to Simla -- Dad eating chai, hot pakoras and jelabis from local hawkers...Nostalgia is such a wonderful thing..it makes me get all happy, remembering back on old memories vividly - smelling the smells, remembering the conversations, remembering the people...

The past couple days have been full of the good, bads and Uglies. Let me start with the Ugly first - my excruciating visit to the dentist. The bads - the pain that followed....the goods - hanging out with Meenakshi, Shreya & Rajesh over the weekend, the hot meal (did I say it was free!) at the temple on Sunday afternoon, the fresh greens and fruits from the Farmers Market (Chinese Brocolli, Chinese Spinach, Zucchini, Cherries, Heirloom Tomatoes, Cauliflower, Peaches and Plums) and of course the Hot and Satisfying bowl of Capellini I made (sauce was made with the Heirloom Tomatoes from the Farmers Market) with a side of simply sauteed garlic greens ( Mmmm...good!)

How was your weekend?

Slow Burn...

Some wise woman named Susan wrote a poem Slow Burn -

I wanted to be Cinderella – the Belle of the Ball at the end of the tale,
All I got was a broom and a dirty hearth,
It seems like the tale has no end…
Sweeping away the cobwebs in my mind,
Pollyanna, I am not…there is not a positive spin to my tale…
Prince Charming has been late to the party,
Fairy Godmother is missing in action…
Stuck at a dead-end junction, I wonder if there is a cross road ahead…
Yet, all this inaction seems to be burning the spirit inside…
Slow Burn…Slow Burn
Slow Burn for me has a different meaning this week...I went to my first Vinyasa Yoga class in 6 months...I held my warrior's proudly and did my backbends flexibly but for the next 3 days my muscles have been burning slowly...work wise life's been busy, personal life wise -- things have been interesting. We have my MIL visiting for 10 weeks, and she will be joined by my FIL in 2 weeks...

K1 and K2 spied a baby seal in the bay over the weekend...here's a picture we took of the baby seal on our Nokia Phone...mailed to self over Ovi Mail (shameless promotion you say...execution on 4 P's I say ;-) )...

A dinner and three movies...

Sunday has almost gone - K2 is in bed watching Winnie the Pooh (A very Merry Christmas) and I thought what better time to update my blog. I left last Sunday for Helsinki...the flight was long and via Munich...the food was blah! but I watched some interesting movies - The Mall Cop, He is not that into you and Bed Time Stories. We got into the Hotel at midnight and decided to take a walk to the Hotel Torni (an older hotel) with beautiful views and a bar. We had a midnight tipple (diluted Mohito was my drink of choice)...took in the views and walked back to our hotel to call it a night. The next 2 days felt like a dream, some parts of it downright nervewracking, others a blur but mostly it was all good. We went out for dinner with a couple colleagues on Tuesday to a place called the Fish Market and I had some excellent Cat Fish and a very crisp Reisling but what I most remember about that dinner was the feeling of a "team" that I felt.

The flight back was even longer and I watched "The Reader" on my way back. I was so glad to get a hug from my little boy. I went down to the Farmer's Market today -- crisp green beans, chinese spinach, Opo Squash, Carrots, ripe peach and cherries will feature on our menu soon. I did go for a Yoga class in the evening today, I am sure I will hear my muscles creak tomorrow...How was your week?

P.S: This unclear picture was taken at 1.00 AM at the Torni with my E71 and mailed to myself via Ovi Mail

The Brief Pelican

We were walking by the bay near our house and we saw two beautiful birds gliding gracefully into the water...we realized they were two Orange Pelicans...

Watching their movements was like poetry in motion...in all too brief a minute they flew away...yet my Nokia E71 captured a glimpse of their flight...

Did you know that in medieval Europe...the pelican was thought to be particularly attentive to her young, to the point of providing her own blood when no other food was available....I didn't!

Hope you have a wonderfully relaxed weekend..

In-Laws or Out-Laws

Let me start this post with a fair warning - I was in an introspective mood today...

Did you know that the average time a blog surfer spends looking at a random blog is three minutes…three whole minutes to stumble across a random blog and read it for a while to see whether it tickles their fancy…a lot of blogs have consistent themes – Relationships, Food, Daily Happenings, Travel, Trivia…well this time around I hope you hang out in my space more than three minutes …This weekend has been introspective for me, thinking about relationships we are born into, relationships we inherit and relationships we cultivate. One interesting aspect of this is relationships we inherit – in-laws. This word brings multiple reactions in people – Joy, Neutrality, Grimaces, Annoyance and what-nots. I met an interesting guy let's call him G today who was talking about his chinese FIL who cooks dinner for him and how he was craving good ol' fashioned American Fare ;-)

Supposedly some people manage to marry into a family that is virtually the same as theirs and the transition into their new family is smooth as can be. I just don't know anyone like that myself ( I know for a fact my transition was not smooth…the saving grace was my husband and I were thousands of miles away on a different continent living our own isolated lives) . It seems like most of the time, becoming a member of a family you did not grow up in is a shock to the system that just keeps on shocking ...keep reading

I see huge differences in the relationship with my mother vs. my MIL. Yes yes, it is not fair to compare but I am human and I inherently have the tendency of comparing the familiar with the unfamiliar. My mother got married at the young age of 17 and our age difference is 19 years. She had graduated from College but for her Education ended where home life began…her world revolved around her family…must I say we were immensely spoilt with lots of love, sometimes too much quality time and supervision. My mother was pretty traditional in her views on how a girl should be bought up but was well balanced by my Dad who had more liberal views (my saving grace!!!). Both my parents were extremely simple in their living, not into material goods and not into comparisons of well I don’t have “X” item that my friend has and I need it or they did not have any expectations from anyone, what they could accomplish on their own they did, if they couldn’t well too bad…they did without. When it came to growing up I think I inculcated a lot of my parents values of Simple Living – I am not into flashy cars or clothes or throwing money around on wasteful expenditures to make sure I had/have what my friend/neighbor/acquaintance did or had…my logic is where does this want end…you never end up getting content. I see a marked difference in my MIL’s attitude towards material possessions, comparisons with others especially friends & relatives, expectations which lead her to be disappointed. My husband though has values very similar to mine which is why I think we gel well (wow I rhymed)

Don’t get me wrong…my MIL -she is a wonderful woman…but for me that relationship was one I married into…so one I have to work hard at establishing and keeping it going. With my mother, there is no talk about making it work…it works…if it doesn’t we yell and shout and scream at each other…sulk and pout for a couple days and then make up…but in the end it has to work…I have never had one of those raging screaming matches (or even a small fight) I have had with Ma with my MIL, I wonder why sometimes…if something hurts me or offends me I get ultra polite and distant but never lose my cool and let her know like I do Ma….anyone have similar experiences?

I think in the end, like Tom Hanks said in Forrest Gump – Life is a box of chocolates…you never know what you end up getting....some flavors are sweet, others bitter, others flavors you would adore while some you would detest…but if you like chocolates (read relationships )…you trudge ahead and are adventurous and you discover nuances to your relationships that you never knew existed…

Punjabi Choley and Saag Paneer....and it's raining shoes...

As I was mentioning before - There are people who eat to live and others who live to eat...I unfortunately fall in the second category of food obsessed divas...

My son is turning out to be a little bit of a food snob - scrambled eggs with pecorino is tolerable but scrambled eggs with cheddar...sacrilege...mango juice - Yes! Orange Juice - Boring!...Quinoa - Thumbs up...Millet - Thumbs Down....the list goes on and on. We ended this week on a sober note...what with my son still being sick and now he has a cold and a cough. I have been trying to feed him a lot more fluids and soups but at the back of my head I always feel like I am not doing enough.

We spent a quiet Friday at home...K1 went out for a happy hour with a friend. On Saturday, we took both our cars for servicing. We then had brunch at the IHOP place in San Jose (K2 loves strawberries and he had the strawberry french toast) after which we took him to the "Great Mall". My son's feet have grown from a size 5 to a size 7...in a matter of 4 months. We got him 5 pair of new shoes - 2 crocs (red, faded denim), one brown dress shoe, one sports shoe (with lights) and a cute pair of sandals...We picked up all the shoes at Osh Kosh and The Children's Place (trying very hard not to overdo it). The funny part was both K1 and I were so engrossed buying stuff for K2 that we didn't pick up anything for ourselves.

On Sunday I made some hot and spicy Sambhar Rice with Dry Potato Curry for lunch which hit a comfort spot for me. I also made Tomato and Barley Soup from scratch for Krish in the night and we had the same for dinner with Garlic Toast. We have a friend (colleague) from work over for dinner today, so dinner plans are paratha, saag paneer and choley. I am hoping Krish get's over his cough and cold soon...

I did just realize that we didn't really bbq on our brand new grill...maybe in a couple weekends...I am in Europe next week...how was your long weekend?