When I was young and I heard the saying - If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was - I thought it was a cliche. There was *my* family, *my*friends...yet one day I left it all behind...wiped the slate clean with 2 bags and not too much money in hand, I made a trip across the Atlantic to a new land where I had to begin again...was I scared, of course I was. I had left the two things that mattered to me the most - Ma and Pa behind and wasn't even sure it was the right decision. Yet, as time went by I settled into a life and routine in this new world, met new interesting people, charted new plans for myself and went about achieving it in a very focused way...Life as I knew it before didn't exist anymore...but the new life was interesting and brought with it new excitement. Most importantly, I had that tangible thread with my parents, they had released their fears and "let go"...they believed in me and the love they had for me...and had faith...setting free didn't really release, it only brought me closer to them...the truth about letting go slowly sunk in...
Yet, when I finally became a mother -- the fierce gnaw of possessiveness really took strong roots...here was something I had created...seeing promising similarities and discounting the fact that K2 was his own individual...I dictated what he ate, when he napped, when he played and of course with so much control came constant paranoia around his weight, his development, his socialization, his health...omigod! stop it already...
This weekend I started looking at pre-schools for my son...the panic is intense. I know that I will have to trust my son's well being with people beyond my "trusted circle"...I don't know if I am ready for it yet...but a wise person once said - There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind...but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world, it is the beginning of a new life"
Here's to my son taking his first independant steps towards pre-school, independence and potty training....and here's to a product manager mom learning to let go of her babies -- both real and products...
Don't worry too much. It will be great to see him grow. About preschool, maintain an open dialogue with the director and the class teachers about your concerns about K2. Say, if you are concerned with him eating by himself, then you should let the teachers know that you want to know how he is eating by himself and if he is not eating well in school, how can the teachers work with him to help him with it. Give it time though ... there are kids who adapt to preschool instantly and there are those who cries and cries for months when they are dropped off. Also, I'll measure it by when you are picking them up, are they crying or having fun. All in all, while giving it time for K2 to adjust to preschool, trust your gut feeling if you feel that it is not the right school for him.
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