Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Seven Habits of Well-Liked People

I can say that I don't care about what people think of me...the truth is you can catch me on that BS pretty quick...I DO care and I do look for affirmation, recognition and respect both consciously and sub-consciously  - it is hard to graduate on that Maslow's Need Hierarchy...Life has a way of making everyone of these rungs matter...and you keep sliding down and then crawling the situation warrants. However, to be liked is an intrinsic need and over time I have realized that likeable people have a few common characteristics :

  1. They are approachable and genuine - they don't really have too many airs around them and most people are able to connect with them on an equal playing's not like they are sitting/standing on a pedestal and you get a crick in the neck trying to look up to them vs. at them
  2. They are interested in you -  they are interested in you, even's not about I did blah! blah! blah!'s a two-way conversation where they engage you, draw you out and care about what you are all about
  3. They have a sense of humor  they laugh with you NOT at you. I *absolutely* love people who find humor in the strangest/serious situations especially like Chandler did in Friends.
  4. They embrace the power of touch -  this is a strange observation coming from me...I really value my (and the other person's personal space) however I also believe that a simple touch can convey empathy, understanding and care. Touch breaks down natural barriers and decreases the real and perceived distance between you and the other person--a key component in liking and in being liked. But with that said, there is a fine line between propriety and impropriety please  tread carefully
  5. They are empathetic - you  feel like they get you and understand where you are coming from or what your point of view is without being too opinionated and judgemental 
  6. They ask for nothing in return - likeable people focus on what they can do for you--not for themselves...hard in todays networking world where there is a constant give and take but reverse that equation consciously and see how you can focus on the "give" more vs. making a conversation / relationship /interaction focus on quid pro quo
  7. They know it is hard - people usually shuffle through the superficial greetings because they feel safe vs. Accepting that being a little more deferential, a little more genuine, a little more complimentary and a little more vulnerable means putting yourself out there. Sometimes putting yourself out there poses a huge risk but even if you crash and burn with that situation/interaction you "like" yourself a bit more for taking on the risk...still a score in my book.
Why am I going all serious on this topic ? Well I had K2 ask me very seriously today - Ma, X is being mean to me and I am being mean there anything I can do to make him like me? I pretty much had a similar talk with him which gave me the fodder for this blog post.

Today marks 12 years to 9-11 which was devastating for the nation and 6 months to my losing Bapa which was devastating for me. I did place my grief aside intentionally and focus on Ganesh Chaturthi...the birthday of my favorite God - Ganesha.

Tomorrow is a day from hell with early morning calls for both K1 and me and there was almost a "rock, paper, scissor" for who would drop K2 in school tomorrow. In case you are wondering - I am it!  How has the week been treating you?


  1. Hi Meenakshi Apa.. (purely due to the lack of a better, more respectable salutation).. I am a new follower of your blog (saw it on the Odiya food facebook group page and loved it).. And this specific article has touched my mind and heart.. Was wondering if it'd be OK with you if I share this on my Facebook page for all my friends out there.. who have doubts and questions on their mind about people who they like/love Vs people who love/like them.. Please let me know.. I did not want to share your page without your permission.. I'd mean a lot to me and I am sure my friends will also appreciate it.. I won't do it if you don't like.. I promise !!

    Just so you know.. my pantry has changed to organic foods and farmers market stuff by being influenced by you and your blog.. Thanks for making our lives healthier.. :)

    Waiting for your reply.. whenever you have time.. no rush !

  2. Sudha -- thanks so much for your comment. It is comments like this that keep the will to blog going :)...absolutely share the blog and please join my blog's FB page.

    I am glad you are making the transition to Organic and has health benefits and community benefits. I am so glad you reached out to me and keep in touch...

    Take Care,
    Meenakshi (Apa) it that you called me Apa :)

    1. Thank You So much !! Hope to talk to you soon again ..