Thursday, January 9, 2014

I am my mother's daughter...

I was bone weary when I reached home at 7.15 PM from work (it was a hard day) and I needed to find my comfort in food - my Ma's food. So I lifted up my pressure cooker, my rice cooker and a degchi (a wok of sorts)...and of course my handy helper K1. We had dinner on the table in about an hour and it looked like this

From upper right : Aloo Phulo Kobi (Cauliflower with red baby potatoes, Saago Bhoja (Kale cooked with garlic), Lau Muga Dali (Moong Dal cooked with Opo Squash) and Quinoa

I have been reading for the past day a book by Iris Krasnow :  I Am My Mother's Daughter: Making Peace with Mom--Before It's Too Late... .My mother and I have a very stormy relationship...like oil and water. Bapa used to be the translator, the mediator, the communicator in between and with him gone it almost feels like we talk past each other. The only topic where we can have a discussion without dissension is Food. This book is helping me understand/appreciate our relationship and emphasizes the necessity to mend any broken mother/daughter relationship. 

"Let go of the anger. Embrace her imperfections. Forgive her, even for unforgiveable acts. Move on, into a mature relationship between equals, with a lowering of expectations and a surrendering of the heart."

In our case it is a moving past our egos and an inability to look at any point of view other than ours...at the end of the day Motherhood I have found out is :

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