Monday, May 2, 2011

Motherhood and Apple Pie…and quieting the monkey mind.

As I hurry through my daily routine – life does not feel the warmth and fuzziness…what’s up with this saying anyway…it has been ringing in my brain for 3 days creating a dissonance of sorts. I am of the opinion that Apple Pie is definitely placed on a higher pedestal that it should be – the dough is doughy and the apples are stewed…some apple pies more tolerable than others…but overall eh! I have had better. Motherhood – the past 3 weeks has felt the same way – eh! I have been better. What with K2 falling sick, the imminent uncertainty of things work and the constant feeling of rush and the feeling that – crap! There is something I have forgotten on my To-Do List.

Every morning starts with getting lunch ready and packed for the two K’s, 1-2 early morning calls, make my morning cuppa (hot water, honey and lemon), drag K2 out of the bed kicking and screaming, get him ready while I try to finish my cuppa, if K1 is not on a call (which is highly unlikely) – he takes on the mammoth task of getting K2 ready : make the bed, rush through a shower, barely there make-up to hide the raccoon eyes, a final check of the house and out of the door for my carpool with K1 and K2. Wait a minute…did I just forget my office badge, what about my cell phone…yikes! my wallet….The first second of quiet I get when I turn on my computer and sit at my cube sipping a cup of Zhena’s Gypsy Tea…the palpitation dies down and the calm settles in as I get through my day’s list. Where time flies by I don’t know but when I look up its soon time to leave to take the long trek ( 30 miles) to K2’s school and back home…on the way we sometimes need to stop by Trader Joe’s or the Indian Store for some staples – Bananas, Bread, Samosas (yeah! yeah! not a staple but on days of dire needs this fried piece of dough filled with potatoes hits a spot).
Evening is a whirl – what with getting the laundry done, give K2 a oil massage and bath, get his dinner ready, feed him – exhausted I have not really planned dinner for K1 and me…K1 is understanding and we either grab something from outside or eat something low maintenance. By this time it is 9-10 PM. I drag K2 to bed and I try to entertain him until he falls asleep. I am back on my computer either working or blogging, paying bills, creating a new T0-Do List – at 11.00 PM I am ready to call it a night – however, my mind wanders from thought to thought – incomplete to do lists, a walk-thro’ of irrelevant conversations, perceived deficiencies, wallowing in things not done…finally exhausted I fall asleep. Morning is yet again a repeat of the above. My product management mind has synthesized 4 key pieces of learning from this daily experience – of course I am able to practice 50% of it, and am working on the other half of it i.e., have fun and be patient when things don’t go my way
(A) Plan for the short term
(B) Execute
(C) Put 1 hr aside every day for fun
(D) Get a handle on the Monkey Mind

Most importantly, rather than existing in the present moment, the monkey mind focuses on one thought after another, and these thoughts distract me from enjoying the beautiful present- stop me from focusing on my wonderful strong boy growing from an infant to a toddler, the expanse of serenity and beauty that surrounds me (I may be biased but I live by paradise!!!), the strong pillar of support my husband and family have been through the years….

“The mind is like a crazy monkey, which leaps about and never stays in one place. It is completely restless and constantly paranoid about its surroundings. When we talk about the development of peace, we are not talking about cultivating a peaceful state, as such, but about simplicity and clearing the chaos and the noise in the mind”
                                                                --- A wise person

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