Friday, April 26, 2013

Do you like me?

"People like people who like them."

It might seem so simplistic...yet at the basic level we do care about what people think about us.  We struggle through the years trying to fit in, work through our perceived and actual complexes and sometimes (very rarely) find  ourselves comfortable with who we changes required. I wish I could say I am there...I think I am 90% there...the journey to self discovery is hard...sometimes a rude awakening, yet in most cases so required.

You cringe because it seems like too deep  a topic for a Friday night when you would rather be sitting with a glass of wine and some spring rolls ( make that Jalapeno Poppers for me please!)...this introspection came because I was reading a book this week with a oh!so!catchy title " How to make people like you in 90 seconds or less?"  Did I learn much from the book....not really but it did emphasize a few things for me that I took for granted...

Part 1 is an introduction about the importance of the first impression. There is an old saying which is true most of the time -The first impression is the last impression. Nicholas says, all you need is to adopt a positive attitude, make sure your words, tone, and gestures are in harmony, and use your gift in organizing your speech to maintain an attractive conversation by using open-ended questions to try to discover what the other person likes. The key take away for me was why should people be interested in you if you are not interested in is not alway the "me" factor.
Part (2) focuses on the first 90 seconds for establishing a rapport. According to Nicholas, the key to establish a rapport with people is to learn how to  like them. It is not about them liking you it is YOU liking them.
Part (3) is talking about the secrets of interactions. I was amazed when I learned that some people rely on visual cues, others on auditory or kinesthetic (touch) input. Apparently, you  should try to discover what the other person prefers and use it to your advantage! I took the exercise to determine what my cue pattern was and determine how to spot the cues other people used...(What? you want to know what mine is...not so the book :) )
What I liked about this book was the fact that -It's not about hiding your actual personality and shamming people into liking is about you making an effort to be positive, read cues and liking the person which in turn would make them like you...good concept right!
I will be the first one to admit I picked this book up for it's title and read it page to page (yeah! yeah! I can hear the snigger)....did I learn anything earth shatteringly deep...not really! However, as I said before it made me aware of a few things that I had been doing in the past which I could do better.
PS :- The photo above is a perfect perfect rose in my garden....Bapa would have loved this one...hope it makes your day just like it made mine...( photo taken on a Nokia Lumia 900...yeah baby! that phone still rocks)

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