Wednesday, June 22, 2011

On my death bed...

What does one do when one is told that one's time is up - People grow a lot when they realize that there is now an "expiry date" which has been indelibly stamped on their existence, not tangible yet ominous....coming to terms with their mortality, struggling to define the validity of their existence, remembering the good times and more importantly the regrets.I read an interesting article on Yahoo this week by Bronnie, a palliative care giver on the top five death bed regrets people had -
(A) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me : It is so easy to get caught up in the mundaness of life and believe that the mediocrity makes us happy --- I had always had this dream of being a theatre artist…a dream that I gave up before I even tried to see if I would ever be any good at it because I did not want to fail.
(B) I wish I didn't work so hard : More than me this applies to K1. We spend so much of our time in mindless madness, that we lose objectivity and focus on what is really important and it brings a dark cloud over our lives…something is not right with that picture.
(C) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings – I have always been a “in-the face” sort of a person. If I don’t like you – you will know it, if I like you – you will also know it…I am not shy about expressing my opinions, likes and dislikes. I just hope and wish that my near and dear ones have the courage to get there. Life is too short, say what is on your mind – you will not have yet another regret
(D) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends: If there is one regret I have, it is in being content with just my small little family, leaning too heavily on them for emotional support. There are a few people who have touched my life but they are far in between – I cherish those friendships fondly – yet sometimes I feel like I have let some of those friends slip me by. The classic introvert who reaches within when the tumult outside reaches a crescendo
(E) I wish that I had let myself be happier: There are “times” when I keep telling K1, I am not happy, I am miserable with the circumstances and the state of limbo “ness” that life has pushed me into in the past few months and then he tells me “ Happiness is a choice” – a person or a situation cannot make us happy. We have to choose to be happy. Hey K1 – how about you taking on and implementing your own advise.

Today I make a pact with myself to try to face some of my fears, resolve some of my internal conflicts and choose happiness.
On a bright note I got my first basket of “co-op” grown fruits and vegetables – luscious peaches, bright apricots and grapes. Heirloom tomatoes that begged to be converted into a Caprese salad, crisp cucumbers, a head of cauliflower, beets, bunches of carrots, a bunch of celery --- all organic. All of this wonderful produce will be the main players in my week’s cooking. Dinner for today is : Rice, Daal (Lentil Soup laced with ginger and ground toasted cumin), Aloo Matar  ( Potatoes and peas cooked in a tomato-onion-ginger-cilantro gravy) and Beet Greens ( cooked down in olive oil with garlic and fresh ground pepper). How has your week been shaping up?

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